Cillian
by Lady Humzbird
Summary: Cloud is about to learn that even Sephiroth, the most loathsome, demented, and wicked villain to ever set foot on Gaia, can be swayed by his inner demons and changed for the better...but not in a way he could ever expect.
1. Peace is Boring

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters from FFVII. Cillian's character is the only character I own (there is a small catch to this, but I can't explain it without spoiling anything. Let's just say that for now, I own Cillian). I'm also only writing for enjoyment purposes.

**Warning: **I don't know how this story will turn out, or if I will even finish it. It just depends on how you guys like it and how much I'm devoted to it in the future. The point is, I don't totally know how much suggestive content will end up in it. Just expect some mild language, shonen-ai (I'm not planning on getting super graphic with the romance. So if you're here for smut, you won't find any), some violence, and mental insanity.

**Chapter Warning: **Contains mild language, drunkenness, and a suicide attempt. (Yeah, it sounds depressing)

**Author's Note: **This is my first fanfic that I've ever posted. Comments and ratings are much appreciated. I really want to know that you guys think of it. Enjoy!

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**Cillian**

By Lady Humzbird

_**1. Peace is Boring**_

* * *

Some things about Cloud didn't change. He still went on long bike rides in the wastes to get his mind from troubling thoughts, or to get some space from Tifa and the kids. There were hardly any monsters out there, but he still maintained a habit of looking over his shoulder every once in a while. Sometimes he half-expected to see more crazy Sephiroth clones ready to chase him down in another motorcycle fight.

There was one other place Cloud liked to visit. He still found comfort in the old church from the sector 5 slums. Sometimes he spent nights in it. Every time he visited he would always tend to the flowers. There was still a small patch that had survived the near-destruction of their home and had continued to grow.

It had been almost two years since the stigma crisis - since Aerith and Zack left him for good. Although he missed them dearly, the notion that he didn't hear voices in his head anymore made him feel more secure about his sanity.

Things were so much more peaceful now. His friends were all happy and living normal lives (normal by their standards at least). Even Vincent seemed slightly happier. The change in him seemed to occur after the fiasco with Deepground.

Yes, it was nice. This was the kind of ending Cloud wanted. It was what everyone wanted. The planet was safe, Sephiroth was gone, Jenova had been exterminated, and the stigma had been cured. What ending could be better? This was the best one, and Cloud couldn't feel more at peace.

It was boring.

He often refused to believe it, but Cloud didn't like peace as much as he thought he would. He had always told himself, _you've lived in total chaos for almost half your life. You're not used to not being surrounded by it. Give it time, and you'll grow used to the peace._

On occasions when he became really doubtful he tried to keep himself in line by thinking, _Listen up, you ungrateful piece of shit! This is what you've fought for – what you've risked your life, and your friend's lives for. Don't you dare think that this isn't good enough for you! You fought this battle to save the planet for years and you're going to enjoy the outcome! Understand?!_

It didn't feel right to acknowledge his doubts, but they were too strong to completely ignore. All he knew for certain was that it felt like something was missing from this ending. Perhaps something that didn't make it feel complete. But every time he went over it in his head, it seemed like it was as perfect as it could get to begin with. He had all his friends with him, Zack and Aerith were at peace, the planet was safe, Jenova, Hojo, and Sephiroth were gone…what was he missing?

He continued to brood while he tended to the flower garden. The flowers weren't as healthy as when Aerith took care of them, but they were still blooming and giving off the sweet aroma that reminded Cloud so much of his lost friend.

He was the only person who ever came around here anymore. Once the people came and cured the stigma from themselves, no one bothered to stick around a crumbling old church in the slums. Half of the planet's water was taken from the pool. It was now a little below knee-deep because some people had taken the cure themselves to bring to loved ones who couldn't make it to the church.

The only living things that seemed to come near the church were occasional monsters. Cloud chased them away and sometimes even slayed them, just to protect the flowers and keep creatures from drinking the holy water.

The twitter of birds was often the only thing he heard there, which was why it was so surprising when another noise echoed through the church. It sounded like a man's voice, and it came from outside. It sounded like someone was shouting and ranting. The voice sounded slurred, which gave Cloud the impression that this mystery person was drunk.

He stood up and walked to the entrance to investigate. There was a man in the clearing out front, staggering around and shouting gibberish insults at the sky. This only added to the assumption that this man was a random bum who was drunk off his ass, and happened to stumble upon the church.

The man was tall and lean with soot black hair. It was short, but long enough to mostly cover his ears. His clothes matched the color of his hair. Black boots, trousers, shirt, and over it all, a black trench coat and black leather gloves. He also had two sheathed katana strapped to his back, and a holstered gun attached to his belt. This gave Cloud the impression that he was probably a mercenary.

The man didn't seem to be making any moves toward the church. Instead he just stumbled about the clearing in wobbly circles. Cloud watched him and wondered if it was worth intervening with. It was both pitiful and amusing at the same time.

The trespasser eventually stopped shouting and dropped down to his knees. He sat there with his face buried in his palms for a while. It was hard to determine if he was crying or not. Cloud didn't hear any sobs.

Eventually, Cloud decided that this scene was too pathetic to leave alone. He opened his mouth to speak. He was going to say '_Uh…excuse me?_' But just as the words came out, his voice was drowned out by the horrible sound of the man wrenching his guts out. Even with the fair distance between them, Cloud couldn't help but take several steps back. The sound of vomiting reminded him too much of his suffering in Hojo's labs, as well as people in the past who had been badly infected with the stigma and hurled black liquids. It made him feel incredibly sick. He covered his ears to drown the awful sound out. The sight of the man throwing up was just as nauseating, so Cloud turned around and shut his eyes.

Covering his ears muffled the noise, but he was still able to hear it. Cloud waited for the terrible sounds to cease before he brought his hands away from his ears. He could hear the man mumbling to himself now.

"I can't live anymore…please…just let me stay dead!"

Cloud's heart thumped faster upon hearing this. _Wait a second, _he thought. _Did he just say…? Is this man suicidal?!_

Cloud whirled around and saw the man drink down a vial of green liquid with shaky hands. He collapsed in a matter of seconds. He fell on his side into a fetal position. Cloud sprinted over to his side and pulled a Restore materia from his pouch. No doubt that it was poison he just drank. "Stay with me! I'm going to help you!" he shouted as he summoned power for the materia.

By the way he moaned and lifted his hands up to reach for something non-existent, Cloud guessed that he was already half-conscious and slipping away fast. The stranger's eyes remained shut from pain, but his hands continued to grope at thin air until one landed on Cloud's arm. "N-no." He managed to say. His voice was so weak now that it was almost a whisper. "Leave…me…I want…death."

Cloud wouldn't listen to him. Despite being a stranger, he felt a surging need to keep this man from dying. But by the time he used the materia, the man had gone completely still. Cloud could feel his heart sinking to his stomach. Was he too late? Instinctively, he pulled his gloves off and pressed his fingers on the stranger's neck and checked for a pulse. He breathed a relaxed sigh when he felt the vein on his neck still throbbing.

Looking at him now, his face was spotted with several raw, open wounds, and almost completely covered in dirt. The Restore had probably removed any infections he might have had, but something would need to be done about the gashes. He didn't have a Heal materia with him, but it probably wouldn't affect simple wounds like these anyway. But he did have holy water…

"Sir? Can you stand up?" Cloud shook the man's shoulder. No response.

He leaned over and wrapped his arms around the stranger's torso. He lifted his unconscious body the best he could in that position, but because of the man's height, his feet dragged along the ground. Cloud lugged him into the church and placed him on one of the benches. For the sake of comfort, Cloud removed the swords and harnesses along with his gun and set them on the bench in the next row up. He even took the time to stretch the man's legs out along the bench and placed his arms so that he was in a mummy-like position.

"You should be thankful I so happen to have magical healing water." He found himself saying aloud as he walked over to the pool. He pulled out a dirty old rag he usually brought with him in case Fenrir was in need of repairs or a quick wipe-down. He dipped it in the water and held it in there for a few seconds. He observed the dirt and oil drifting away from the rag into the water and then…disappearing. This holy stuff never seemed to stay dirty.

Cloud brought the dripping rag back over to the stranger and sat down next to him. He had never used the water to heal something as simple as a gash before, but if it can cure an incurable stigma, then this should be no problem. He took one corner of the rag and wiped it over the man's forehead. It definitely seemed to work by healing him, and somehow made all the dirt vanish as well, so he continued by moving it down the bridge of his nose. Cloud noted that the stranger's skin was quite pale.

Suddenly, the man started to wince. His teeth slightly clenched and his eyed shut tighter. This made Cloud pause, but he didn't stop. He took another corner of the rag and ran it over the man's left cheek. Now he started to groan out of discomfort.

Clout removed the rag and asked, "What's the matter? Isn't it helping?"

There was no response. He must have still been unconscious. Cloud couldn't understand why it wouldn't feel good, but if it really did hurt, then he might as well finish the job while the man wasn't fully aware. With that, he took another corner and quickly wiped it over the other cheek.

Suddenly, a hand shot up and clasped Cloud's wrist. "What?! What is it?!" he gasped out, more startled than anything.

"It…_burns_…" the man wheezed out.

It was then that Cloud noticed a slight green smoke or mist ascending from the newest healed wounds. He moved his head closer and could hear a faint sizzling sound. Whoever this was, the planet's healing magic wasn't agreeing too well with his body. But at least it was still working.

"…Stop…"

"Wait…there's still one more on your chin."

The hand on his wrist clenched tighter. "…Stop it!"

Cloud hated decisions like this. He wanted to finish the job, even if it hurt his patient momentarily. For some reason, Cloud felt an incredible urge to take care of this stranger. Like a mother hen.

"Please, sir. There's only one more wound. It shouldn't hurt for too long."

After a long pause, the stranger finally let go of Cloud's wrist and laid it back down in its initial position. Gingerly, Cloud took the fourth corner of the rag and brushed it across the last open wound. The man hissed for a moment, but relaxed after the magic was finished. His eyes still remained closed. Perhaps he just wanted to sleep now.

With the wounds gone, Cloud got a good look at the man's facial features. He had smooth ivory skin and a heart-shaped face. The bridge of his nose was thin and pointed at the tip. His eyelashes seemed unusually long and his eyebrows unusually thin. His peaceful expression overall made him seem quite beautiful. Something about it, though, stirred up a strong feeling in Cloud. He didn't bother to pinpoint what it was.

He laid on the bench in the position of a corpse in a coffin, with his legs straightened out and his hands over his chest. The fact that he was dressed in all black only seemed to add to the death-like look. For a moment, Cloud felt worried that he might actually _be_ dead. But the notice of the man's chest rising and falling gently reassured him. Cloud almost felt like laughing. This whole image somehow reminded him of Vincent. How funny it would be if this stranger turned out to have red eyes as well. Then they would _have_ to be related!

_So, now what to do with him?_ Cloud thought. It was starting to get dark now, and he had originally planned on sleeping in the church anyway, but now he was probably going to have to share it with this strange man. He knew it wouldn't be right to leave him here over night and risk him getting attacked by wandering monsters. He was still too weak from the poison.

Cloud sat up from the bench and walked outside to Fenrir to retrieve his sleeping mat. "Is your home nearby?" he asked as he walked back through the entrance. He only half-expected an answer, since the man was probably asleep.

The stranger rolled over on the bench so that his back was facing Cloud. It was obvious that he was awake, but he didn't feel like having a conversation at the moment. He answered simply, "I have no home." His tone was still in a half-whisper – most likely because he was tired. Cloud figured that near-death experiences could really tucker one out.

"Oh…" Cloud murmured. He rolled his sleeping mat on the floor so that he was next to the stranger's bench, but also in the middle of the main aisle. "You're…homeless then?"

"I _prefer_ the title of 'hermit'…" He answered harshly, though his tone softened with the next sentence. "…Although I do not seek solitude for religious purposes, I simply want to be alone."

Cloud laid down on the mat and continued to attempt to learn more about this person. "Why is that? Have you done something bad?" By the way the man shifted uncomfortably, Cloud could tell it was a sensitive subject. It wasn't his business to ask about that anyway. "Sorry."

"Hmmph."

"I'd like to point out that drinking won't solve all of your problems." Cloud didn't realize until it was too late that he really shouldn't have brought the man's motive for suicide into question by practically accusing him of being too wasted to be sensible. Damn him! Being a loner, there were some social boundaries he_ still _hadn't learned not to press.

He was expecting the worst – for an outburst of anger or depression that could drive the hermit to make an attempt on his own life again. Which was why Cloud was so surprised when he simply replied, "I wasn't drunk."

That wasn't at all what Cloud expected. Maybe he was just lying, though. He sure was acting like he was wasted back there. "What do you mean? You certainly seemed like you were, the way you staggered around and vomited your brains out."

"My body was weak from all the poison. I had drunk from two other vials before I ended up at this church."

Two others? That made three total.

_He had three of those things?! _Cloud thought_. How is that possible?_

This new bit of information only made it harder for Cloud to believe this man's claim. He continued to Question him. "But…you were also talking to yourself and shouting things that didn't make sense."

"I was angry." He bluntly stated. "Plus, I wouldn't use the word 'sane' to describe myself."

Cloud paused for a while. He did seem to make sense, but it could still be one big lie used to avoid admitting to his drunken problems. "I still don't totally believe you…"

"Have you even, _once_, smelled the aroma of alcohol from me?"

Wow…he was right! This whole time, Cloud hadn't even smelled it! He didn't even _realize_ that he didn't smell it! He didn't have anything else to question about it, so he just gave up. "Alright, alright. I believe you now."

The hermit chuckled softly. Something about it stirred up more strange emotions in Cloud. For some reason, this time, he _really_ wanted to avoid feeling them. There was something definitely off about this man that just made Cloud feel uneasy at times.

"Excellent." The man replied smoothly.

After that, the two remained silent for a while. There was one more thing that Cloud wanted to know, but he was worried that the hermit had fallen asleep. He could try asking, but decided to ask quietly in case he wasn't awake.

"My name is Cloud. Cloud Strife. Will you tell me your name?"

There was no answer. Cloud assumed that the hermit really was sleeping. He rolled over on hit mat to get more comfortable. He thought back on the recent events of the day. He then realized how out-of-character he had behaved! He took it upon himself to heal a drunken stranger (or, at least he _thought_ he was drunk), he shared the _holy water_ with this man, and even tried to start a conversation with him! These were things he never thought he'd do so lightly. Why was it so different this time?

Being deep in thought like this always made Cloud drowsy. He could feel himself begin to drift off. Suddenly, the silence was cut into by the hermit.

"My name is Cillian." He said quietly.

_What an odd name_, Cloud thought. "Cillian? Hmmm…well, what's your last name?"

"I don't have a last name. It's just Cillian."

"Cillian." Cloud repeated to himself. It was unusual, but in an odd way, it suited him. Cloud had to admit, his _own_ name was far from being on a list of common baby names.

So what was going to happen to Cillian now? Cloud felt an impulse to nurture and take care of this man until his symptoms of suicide went away, but that was almost _too_ out-of-character, even for Cloud's liking. He was too sleepy to dwell on it now, anyway. He decided to figure things out in the morning.

Instead, Cloud found himself thinking of the man's name.

_Cillian. _

He repeated it in his mind, over and over again until he figured it impossible to ever forget it. Whoever he was, Cloud was looking forward to spending more time around him. At least…he hoped he would.

_Cillian._

_Cillian._

_Cillian._


	2. A Hermit Named Cillian

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters from FFVII. Cillian's character is the only character I own. I'm also only writing only for enjoyment purposes.

**Chapter Warning:** Contains language, some violence and gore, attempted suicide, and mild insanity.

**Author's Note:** I know that you're thinking: She made chapter 2 already?! I'm going to tell you right now that this will be the fastest chapter update I will ever make for this story. I was only anxious to finish the first two chapters because they really set the stage for the plot. This is also the first fanfic that I've ever posted. Comments and Reviews are much appreciated.

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**Cillian**

_**2. A Hermit Named Cillian**_

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Cloud awoke in the middle of the night. The moon was up high and shone through the toppled church ceiling. The sweet scent of the flowers still filled his nose. The cool night air felt incredibly soothing on his skin.

Something wasn't right.

He mako-enhanced senses told him that there was movement near the front of the church. Cloud looked over at Cillian's bench. Thankfully, he was still sleeping there…so what was setting his senses off?

A low growl suddenly echoed around the church. He glance over at the intruder, trying not to move his head. He could only see if from the corner of his eye and the darkness made it impossible for Cloud to know what it was for sure. All he knew was that it was big, and it was right outside the building.

Normally, this wouldn't be too much of a problem for Cloud. But Cillian made things far more complicated. Presumably, he seemed like someone who could normally fight for himself, but he was still weak from the poisoning. If the monster came inside the church, he would be an easy target.

Slowly, Cloud began to reach over to First Tsurugi, which he had laid down next to the mat. He tried to shallow his breathing as well, but that was proving to be difficult. His heart started beating rapidly from adrenaline surges that came when the beast made any sudden noises.

Cloud ever-so-slightly lifted his head to get a better look at the intruding monster. Only one of the church doors were open and greatly limited his sight on the beast. It was lurking right outside the building and sniffed the ground for something. Perhaps it caught his or Cillian's scent. If that was the case, then it wouldn't be long before its attention shifted to the Church's interior. Judging by its size, though, it was way too big to easily fit through the entrance. But it did look strong enough to break the wall down if it had to.

_As long as it doesn't see us in here, it won't have any reason to bother tearing the structure apart. There's a possibility we could wait it out._

Cloud wasn't willing to take chances, though, and carefully wrapped his hand around First Tsurugi's hilt. He remained in that position (uncomfortably to say the least) for several minutes, waiting for the monster to either leave or attack. Patience wasn't one of his strong suits, and he soon began to debate if attacking the monster himself would be more beneficial. Right now, he had the element of surprise to his advantage.

He took one last gander at the monster to determine what it was. The moonlight helped make spotting the traits of the beast slightly easier. From what Cloud could see, it had a dark, muscular body, a reddish mane, a long tail, and glowing eyes.

_…A behemoth? It must've wandered in from another sector. Oh well, this shouldn't be too hard to handle._

With that, Cloud decided a surprise attack was the best course of action. He tightened his grip on the buster-like sword and waited for the right moment to attack – when the monster's back was turned.

He continued to remain motionless while he waited for his chance to strike. Unexpectedly, but conveniently, a scampering noise disturbed the silence (most likely from a smaller monster). The behemoth turned away from the church to investigate the source of the noise. This was Cloud's chance to strike.

Just as he sat up to begin a charge attack on the beast, a blur of black suddenly whizzed past him. It left Cloud slightly disoriented for a moment, but when he brought his focus back on the monster, it was already starting to roar and lash out at something. Someone was already attacking it! He whirled around to look at Cillian's bench, but part of Cloud already knew what he was going to see. Cillian was gone…and so were his katanas.

Cloud rushed out the doorway and saw Cillian and the behemoth locked in combat. Cillian seemed to be winning. He dodged the monster's attacks in a lithely manner and jabbed his katanas in it at every opening possible. Cloud realized that had greatly underestimated this strange man. It had only been a few hours ago when he was too weak to stand. Now he was slaying this beast like a professional!

Cloud leaned back against the outside of the church and watched the battle play out in front in him. It was clear that Cillian had the situation under control. But it wasn't long before Cloud could hear Cillian breathing heavy, labored breaths. His movements were becoming slightly slower as well. How could someone this strong get depleted so quickly?

_Perhaps he isn't fully recovered after all._

Cloud took ahold of First Tsurugi and prepared to join the fight and finish the behemoth off for him. But, once again, he found that he underestimated Cillian. With a superhuman pounce, he landed atop the monster's head and rammed both of his katanas straight through its cranium. The behemoth instantly collapsed.

The fall of the dead beast caused Cillian to tumble off its body, and he landed next to it. He must've really still been weak, because he couldn't even land on his own feet. He stumbled and landed his behind in the dirt.

Cillian barely had time to even blink before a massive spiked tail came crashing down on top of him. He was instantly pinned to the ground by a crushing force and impaled by the long spikes. He let out a cry of pain that caused Cloud to jolt back to life.

"Gods!" Cloud exclaimed as he dashed over to Cillian's side. "Hang on! I'll get you out!"

"No!" Cillian rasped. His voice was obscured and weak by the large amount of blood that was already beginning to well up in his throat. "Leave me!"

Cloud wrapped his arms around the behemoth's tail, below the spiked end. "You can't be serious! I'm not letting you die!" He grunted as he began to pull the dead monster's tail upwards. What was wrong with this man? He had no trouble defending Cloud and his precious church, but he was willing to die at the drop of a coin?

Cillian made no further protests, but instead focused on the extreme pain he felt as the spikes were lifted from inside his body. Cloud winced at his strained outbursts. He could almost literally feel Cillian's pain. He hated to have to hurt him even more, but the spikes had to be dislodged in order for any healing to take place.

By the time the tail was removed, Cillian was coughing and hacking up fresh blood. Cloud quickly looked over his injuries. He had been impaled in three different places. All of which went clear through the other side of his body. One hole went straight through his right lung, the second was almost perfectly centered through his belly, and the last was in his left thigh. Cloud grimaced at the amount of blood that pooled on the ground around him. He had lost so much already, Cloud was surprised that he hadn't passed out from the blood loss.

Cloud's mind quickly began to think of ideas to heal Cillian. Godsdamn him for not bringing his Heal materia! The holy water was the only way, but he didn't have anything big enough to carry it with. He had a few vials, but the quantities were too small. He would end up having to make many trips between Cillian and the pool. Plus the amount of times he would have to use it would only prolong Cillian's pain. Cloud only saw one other option.

He bent down and took Cillian under the arms to lift him up. "I need you to try to stand."

"What…?" Cillian murmured hoarsely. His face had now lost all its color (The little color there was) and turned into a sickly pale.

"I'm taking you inside." Cloud said as he continued to pull Cillian from the ground. Once he was high enough, Cloud slung the hermit's arm over his shoulder. He walked slowly, trying not to strain him. The two hobbled inside the church, leaving a trail of blood behind. Cloud hated tracking so much of it inside, but Cillian's life was a bit more important at the moment.

He continued to guide Cillian through the church until the two of them stood in front of the pool of water. "Why…are you…?"

"Get in." Cloud said demandingly. He meant to sound softer, but the intensity of the situation was taking a toll on his tone.

Cillian clutched his stomach and started to gag. Streams of blood were now trickling down his chin. With his few remaining clear breaths, he choked out one last protest. "I…need…to…die."

The sincerity of his tone gave Cloud pause, but he refused to let Cillian die. He hated when people gave up on their own lives so easily. It only reminded him of himself – his old self, at least. What he hated even more, was how this man was suicidal simply from depression. There were no people or causes that he seemed to be passionate enough to die for, unlike how Cloud risked his life so many times for the planet, Cillian was only dying for himself. How could anyone be like this in such a perfect world? In a way, it made Cloud feel as if everything he fought for meant nothing if one man wasn't happy enough to keep living.

He wasn't going to let this man slip away from him. Without hesitation, he moved behind Cillian and pushed. Surprisingly, the hermit had enough strength to brace his feet and keep his balance. "No…"

"Yes!" Cloud yelped as he gave Cillian an even harder shove. He teetered, then toppled over and landed on his hands and knees in the pool. Unfortunately, it was a lot shallower when it first had been filled by the planet, and the level of the water did not meet Cillian's wounds. Some of it did splash on his injuries, but it wasn't enough.

Cloud jumped down into the pool with him and cupped his hands in the water. He brought his hands over to pour the water onto Cillian's back. But instead of cooperating, the hermit suddenly swung his fist around and landed a punch straight in Cloud's stomach.

"Oof! …What the hell?!" Cloud gasped out. Cillian's swing was surprisingly strong and fast for someone so close to death. He managed to knock the wind out of him. "Why won't you let me save you?!"

Cillian Suddenly threw himself at Cloud. The surprise attack caught him off guard as well as off balance and caused the two of them to fall over. Cloud smacked his head on the edge of the adjacent floorboards that hung over the edge of the pool.

Cillian had Cloud pinned down with his head under water and he was too disoriented to push the hermit off. Cloud wasn't even in that deep. The water level was barely above his nose. He tried to lift his head up, but in his half-conscious state, his head felt like it weighed a million times more than normal. After the hit, Cloud's limbs felt like jelly. He felt too weak to even attempt to throw Cillian off of himself. His vision was already beginning to turn dark. He began to fear the worst at that point – that Cillian was going to drown him. Drowned in holy water? What a way to go.

But if there was one thing about Cloud, his will to live was unrivaled. And that alone gave him a small wave of strength. But it was big enough to shake Cillian away from him. Lucky for Cloud, his attacker was already too weak from blood loss to keep him pinned down.

With one last shove, Cloud threw Cillian away from himself and launched out of the water. In the throes of panic, he scrambled out of the pool and toward the other side of the church. He hugged himself and shivered while he took deep breaths. _Why would Cillian do that? I thought he understood that I meant well._ He took a minute to collect himself before he walked back over to the pool.

Cillian was face-down and floating in the water. Somehow, Cloud wasn't too surprised or panicked by this. He may have been seemingly unconscious and drowning, but if there was one thing that Cloud was learning about Cillian, it was that he was a lot harder to kill than he would first appear. Cloud jumped back in beside the hermit and turned his body over in the water. He made a small noise, likely because the water still burned him, but he remained unconscious. Cloud then pulled a glove off and checked for a pulse. Yes, he was still alive, but he wasn't breathing.

Cloud then grasped Cillian in the usual place he held when he was going to drag him around – under the arms – and pulled him out of the pool. He laid the hermit out flat on the floorboards and began grumbling things to himself. A response from Cillian was unlikely anyway. "You know, you're really starting to piss me off. Call yourself lucky that I'm so persistent." Cloud then started to do chest compressions on Cillian. "Don't get your hopes up. I'm not doing mouth-to-mouth."

It took a while – almost to the point where Cloud was getting sincerely worried again – but Cillian finally started to breathe. Cloud breathed a relieved sigh while he sat back and let the man cough and spew the water from his lungs. "Why…do you keep…saving me?" he asked in a raspy voice.

Cloud stood up and shot Cillian a frustrated glance. "No offense, but I really hate it when people try to end their own lives for no good reason. So why would I just sit by and watch you do that."

Cillian stood up as well. The height difference made Cloud feel a small spark of inferiority. He was shorter than almost all of his friends, and this man wasn't helping. The hermit kept his eyes lowered to the ground and answered, "How can you say that about me? You don't know what I've done."

"Oh really? Then what have you done, then. Huh?"

Cillian didn't answer. Instead, he lifted his gaze up to meet Cloud's eyes. The young mercenary quickly remembered how touchy the topic was. He felt a sudden rush of guilt from probing too far into the subject. He opened his mouth to apologize, but stopped.

Something about Cillian made his focus trail away from the topic at hand. A bone-chilling image was beginning to unravel before him. He hadn't noticed before, Cillian's eyes…they were bright green. Too bright to be natural. They were glowing! Only SOLDIERS had eyes like that. His attention was then cut from Cillian's eyes when a stream of dark water ran down the side of his face. The black in his hair was seeming to melt away. In its place…was silver. The holy water was dissolving a dark substance from his hair and caused it to drip and run down his face. The floor was being spotted with stray drops. It was an overall, very creepy image. Cloud became deeply unsettled by the way Cillian looked at him – the way his green eyes were wide, but emotional – the way streams of fluid trickled down his face – the way he looked at Cloud was all too familiar.

Suddenly, words and images began to flash into Cloud's mind. He clutched his head and nearly collapsed to the floor in a seizure-like episode. _Meteor…Puppet…Omnislash…Sephiroth._

_Sephiroth?_

And then the penny dropped.

_…It can't be…no, it can't be! It's impossible!_

Impossible. That very word brought back another range of horrible memories that made him feel a searing pain run straight through his chest. The day of the reactor…

_There's no way! There's no way he's returned!_

"…Cloud?"

Cloud nearly shrieked when Cillian's voice snapped him back into reality for a moment. Cillian was still standing there in front of him. His head was tilted in curiosity.

_Cillian…Not Cillian…Liar…Liar…Liar!_

"Liar." Cloud whispered. His eyes were distant and unfocused. He was only halfway in reality now.

"What?"

_Liar…Enemy…Kill…Die…Stay dead!_

Cloud didn't say anything more. Still in the haze from his episode, he slowly reached behind his head for First Tsurugi. Cillian grabbed his wrist easily before Cloud could reach it.

"You're not…who you say…" Cloud continued to mutter.

"Oh?"

"Kill…Sephiroth…"

Cillian jerked away from Cloud upon hearing this. "No…Don't say that."

"Sephiroth."

"Don't say that word."

With his hand free, Cloud began to reach for First Tsurugi again. "Sephiroth."

Cillian staggered backward. "Enough, Cloud! You don't understand what you're doing!" His tone was becoming increasingly distressed, but it didn't register at all for Cloud.

"…Die…For the planet…Sephir-!" Cloud's prattling was interrupted by a sudden blur of silver and black, and then an intense, but blunt pain developing under his chin.

The world spun.

It went dark.

* * *

_Sephiroth…Sephiroth…_

_How did I not see it? How could I be so blind? How could I be so stupid?!_

_So many signs…I didn't see!_

_Tall…_

_Beautiful…_

_Superhuman strength…_

_The planet was hurting him…_

_There were signs! I was too blind to see!_

_"…Did you do something bad? …"_

_"…You don't know what I've done…"_

_"…Why do you keep saving me? …"_

_He wanted to die…He could've stayed dead. But I saved his life. I saved his life twice! I wanted to help…I felt sorry for him…I didn't know._

_I think I'm going to be sick._

_Sick…Stigma…Lifestream…Aerith_

_Where's Aerith when you need her? I miss her…I hate Sephiroth._

_Sephiroth…Sephiroth…_

_I didn't know_

_That was his plan, wasn't it? He took advantage of me. He made me pity him…take care of him…save him. He waited for the right moment to kill me. To get me out of the picture so he could try to destroy the world again. He tried to kill me! …_

_Am I dead?_

_I don't feel dead. This doesn't feel like the lifestream. Maybe I'm just unconscious after all._

_No…that's worse! I'm completely at his mercy now! What's in store for me when I wake up? What kind of torture does he have planned? Had he already stolen something from me? Will I be missing a finger? A toe? An eye? An entire limb?! Or worse, my…_

_…oh gods…don't even think about losing that!_

_I'm so stupid. I've been played for a fool. I haven't felt this humiliated since the cross dressing thing…_

_…I hate Sephiroth._

_Sephiroth…Sephiroth…_

* * *

Cloud woke up on his sleeping mat. Sunlight shone on his face. It felt nice and warm. The air was crisp and still cool from last night. Birds chirped and sang outside of the ruins. He rolled over onto his side and rubbed his eyes. Everything felt almost completely surreal.

It's too perfect.

Cloud sat up, yawned, and stretched his arms. Tifa would probably call him soon. He took his PHS out and checked the time. 8:13 am. It was probably best that he went back to 7th Heaven anyway. For once, he did feel a bit more chatty than normal. He could tell Tifa about the crazy dream he just had.

"It's about time."

Cloud stopped. That voice…he knew that voice. A voice from his dream. At least…he thought it was a dream. He hoped it was a dream. He found himself slowly turning his head in the direction of the speaker. There, on the bench next to him, sat Cillian…or Sephiroth? Whoever he was, He sat there on the bench calmly. It almost seemed as if he waited there all night for Cloud to wake up. Whatever that black stuff was in his hair last night, it was mostly gone. His hair was now silver, minus the remaining black substance that stained the tips. He held one of Aerith's Flowers by the stem and twirled it between his fingers. Cloud was exceedingly angry at him.

But of all things to be mad about, Cloud began with the issue of the flower. "Where did you get that? You'd better not have just cut it!"

"I found it." Cillian/Sephiroth said candidly.

"…My ass!" Cloud exclaimed as he stomped over to Cillian and snatched the flower from him. He then proceeded to flail the blossom around Cillian's face while he nagged, "These belonged to Aerith! You know, that Cetra girl that you murdered?! What gives you the fucking right to even touch these?!"

Cillian only shrugged in response. Cloud found the calm-and-collected way he was acting exceedingly irritating. So much, in fact, that he was so busy complaining, he had forgotten his objective of trying to kill his own nemesis. First Tsurugi remained next to Cloud's sleeping mat, unused, even unsought.

"And furthermore, what happened last night?! What the fuck did you do to me?!"

Cillian sat up straight in a professional way. It only pissed Cloud off even more. "Your refusal to cooperate with my commands last night had put your life – and possibly mine – in danger. Not to mention, it was becoming quite annoying. At that point in time, the safest and most logical course of action for me to do in order to silence you, was to use a non-lethal assault tactic by striking your skull with an uppercut-like manner; thereby rendering you unconscious."

Cloud stood in silence and stared at his adversary.

Cillian pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a sigh of frustration. "You wouldn't shut up, so I clocked your face."

Cloud gave him a look of exasperation. There were so many things wrong with this statement! Too many questions for him to handle! _That's it? All he did was knock me out? He didn't do anything else? It only took one hit?! Why is he acting so calm about it? Why was he suddenly concerned for his own safety? And since when has the word 'clocked' been in Sephiroth's vocabulary?!_

Cillian easily noticed Cloud's confusion. Who could blame him? Cillian's story was far from simple. If only Cloud were willing to listen. "Cloud, I understand how disconcerting this situation appears, so let me make one thing clear: I'm not the nightmare you think I am."

Cloud gave Cillian a once-over and decided that the black garments, silver hair, and mako-green eyes said otherwise. "Are you sure? Because you look an awful lot like Sephiroth."

Cillian flinched. "Have you learned nothing, Cloud?"

Cloud grinned smugly. It felt quite thrilling to know his enemy's weakness, especially since it was such a simple one. The tables have turned. Now you're at my mercy! "Sephiroth."

"I'm warning you!" he threatened as he stood up and moved to the opposite end of the church.

"Sephiroth!"

Cillian continued to jump every time he heard the name. Cloud was being such a fool! He didn't understand how much danger he was putting himself into! He was summoning a monster, and he didn't even know!

"Sephiroth. The One-Winged Angel. The Nightmare."

"Cloud, please!" Cillian now fell to his knees and covered his ears. _Don't listen to him! Your name is not Sephiroth! Your name is Cillian!_

"Sephiroth! You burned my hometown, you killed the last living Cetra, you nearly destroyed the planet!"

"I'm not Sephiroth! I'm not, I'm not! I'm…" Unbeknownst to Cloud through his senseless ranting, Cillian's behavior was beginning to take a turn for the strange - stranger than he was already behaving. His eyes were beginning to dilate. His facial expression had suddenly gone from panicked to neutral in a matter of seconds. Wordlessly, he stood up and faced Cloud with almost robot-like motions. You want Sephiroth? You've gotten Sephiroth.

"Millions of people died because of you! And for what? Some stupid alien that tricked you into believing that she was your own mother! You are Sephiroth! You've done all of those things! And there's nothing you can do to change!"

Gods! It felt so good say all that to him! Cloud actually felt a bit lighter. A light, fluffy Cloud. He would've stayed that way if the black and silver blur didn't suddenly grab him by the throat and pin him against the nearest wall. Cloud was rendered completely stunned from the surprise attack and squirmed around frantically. Cillian moved him upwards against the wall so that his feet no longer touched the ground. Cloud aimlessly tried to hit him, but both of his wrists were easily taken in one large hand and pinned above his head. He looked at Cillian now. His eyes – which had been normal before – now had reptilian-like slits for pupils. A smooth, but menacing voice spoke to him. "Have I not warned you about insulting my mother, puppet?"

Cloud gasped for breath. "Wha…da…fuurgh?!" Despise asking that question, somehow Cloud instantly knew the answer. If Cillian really wasn't Sephiroth before, then he had just unleashed the real Sephiroth now. _What have I done?_

Sephiroth chuckled darkly. It was a sound that never failed to disturb his nemesis. "Good to see you, Cloud."

* * *

**Author's (Second) Note:** For those of you that read the disclaimer in the previous chapter, you'd remember that I mentioned a catch to owning Cillian's character. Now I can safely say that Cillian and Sephiroth are the same person, and it's only Cillian's persona that I'm taking credit for.


	3. Good to see you, Cloud

WOOO! CHAPTA THREE!

Check out the new story cover. I made it myself! It's a bit lame cuz it's only a sketch, but it was still fun making it.

Anywayyyyy...lets get down to business. Hope ya guys still enjoy the story.

**Warning:** Nothing too serious in this chapter. Just some action, language, and CillianxCloud awkwardness.

* * *

**Cillian**

**_3. Good to see you, Cloud_**

* * *

Dark clouds appeared to roll in and block out the sun. The wind picked up to an alarming speed and swept through the building. An angelic choir almost literally could be heard singing dramatically in the background.

Sephiroth held Cloud by the neck, suspended from the ground. His usual smirk crept across his lips as he watched his nemesis gag and squirm in front of him. "Hmmm…what happened to that newfound strength of yours?" he taunted. "Surely is can't be _this_ easy to end your life."

Cloud didn't say anything – he _couldn't_ say anything. The hand around his throat was holding on too tight for any words to come out clearly. Instead, he did the only thing he could do to respond: meeting Sephiroth's eyes with a look that said: 'fuck you'.

The Nightmare made a small noise of amusement in his throat and released his hold on Cloud. He stepped back and watched the smaller man fall to the floor and desperately heave his chest for air. "It's _too_ easy." he said, and then walked over to First Tsurugi and kicked it in Cloud's direction.

Despite feeling light-headed from the air loss, Cloud didn't hesitate to take the sword. Although he couldn't avoid stumbling over when he bent down to pick it up. His face flared up in anger and embarrassment when he heard his adversary laughing at him. He hated how Sephiroth had always made him feel weak, but actually _being_ weak in his presence infuriated the blond to the core.

A smirk returned to Sephiroth's face as he watched Cloud shift into his battle stance. He then reached behind his head and unsheathed his own two weapons. "Any last words, Puppet?"

There were mountains of words that Cloud wanted to say to him. But on the off chance that he really was about to die, he could think of only one thing that he wanted to know about Sephiroth more than anything else. "Why have you returned?" he asked coldly.

"Have I not told you before that I cannot return to the lifestream? Whatever the cause, it seems I have been resurrected once again to finish what mother started."

"A-are you saying that you don't even _know_ why you're back?!"

Sephiroth's expression went from smug to angry. His tone became almost as rough as Cloud's. "What does it matter? Once I have defeated you, no one will be in my way. All that will be left is the destruction of your precious planet."

"Jenova is gone, Sephiroth! There's no reason to destroy the planet anymore!"

Sephiroth's mouth quirked into a devilish grin. "You're wrong, foolish puppet. Jenova is in _me_."

"Then I'll just have to kill you again!" Cloud shouted as he charged his nemesis and swung First Tsurugi toward him.

Sephiroth quickly crossed both of his katana in front of the Buster-like sword and blocked the first attack easily. "You, humans and your stupidity."

Before he knew it, Cloud was knocked backwards into Aerith's flower bed. Instinctively, he tried to land feet first, but that would prove to be a big mistake. His feet skidded through the grass and dirt and smeared it onto the floorboards. He stared down in horror at the new mess. All of the flowers – the few that there were – had been utterly demolished by his boots! Aerith's flowers were ruined! How could he let this happen? Cloud was so full of rage, he could feel his eye twitching. His eye_ never_ twitched. Losing his cool was a rarity, but he was on the verge of making an exception.

"Oops." Sephiroth said tauntingly. "Those were the Cetra girl's, yes? How unfortunate."

"You bastard!"

In the blink of an eye, the two were locked in combat once again. The high pitched '_clang'_ of metal hitting metal echoed around the church while they bounced off walls and struck in mid-bound. Cloud soon had to pull the second blade from First Tsurugi into action from being out-sworded by the two katana that the General held. Cloud had wondered for a brief moment what had happened to Masamune, but decided that now was _definitely_ not the time to ask about it.

Striking and blocking faster than any human without mako enhancements could handle, the both of them fought for a long time. Cloud was fast, but on occasions, Sephiroth was much faster. By the time the blond landed a powerful strike that sent his nemesis hurling backwards through the front entrance, his face, chest, and arms were completely covered in shallow cuts. They stung, but Cloud was too focused to care. He knew Sephiroth well enough to know that these wounds were merely another form of his taunting ways. They served as a way to prolong Cloud's agony before he was defeated for good.

Cloud wanted to get Sephiroth as far from the church as possible and knocked him in the opposite direction whenever he could. Eventually, they ended up near the old, abandoned buildings and giant piles of rubble that remained of the rest of the sector 5 slums. Many statues, telephone poles, and other still-standing tall objects were either pounced on when the fight escalated above ground-level, or knocked over for distractions.

Cloud knew that Omnislash was the only way to kill Sephiroth. The problem was that he couldn't concentrate enough to do it. He couldn't bring his mind from the destruction of Aerith's last flowers and found it utterly impossible to clear his head. Thinking of the ruined flowers reminded him of Aerith and the day she died. Aerith reminded him of Zack, which reminded him of the reactor, which gave him a whole _gamut_ of horrible memories from Hojo's labs, which only peaked his blind fury towards Sephiroth, and it brought him farther and farther from focusing his thoughts on performing the special move. Perhaps this was Sephiroth's intention. Maybe he destroyed the flowers as soon into the battle as possible in hopes of distracting Cloud from using Omnislash, and serving as a fail-safe. Cloud had always hated his scheming ways.

Unfortunately for Cloud, Sephiroth could read his emotions easily. He had years of being forced to study war strategies and psychologies by Hojo to thank for it. Their fight eventually came to a stand-still on top of an old, fragile five-story hotel that barely stood because two opposite corners of the base were destroyed. If a third one collapsed, the whole structure would fall. With a smirk, The Nightmare continued to poke his own fun at Cloud by taunting again, "Well, puppet. I had believed that you would've used your ultimate attack on me by now. Shall I show you mine, then?" With that, a massive black wing tore away from Sephiroth's backside and stretched to its full length.

For a moment, Cloud was distracted by the extraordinary sight, but a moment was all it took for Sephiroth to rush his opponent and knock him away from the building. He then leapt onto the ground underneath Cloud, and with one mighty flap of his wing, he flew straight up beneath him. The two clashed swords in mid-air, but Sephiroth continued to bring them higher and higher while they resumed their fight. But something was different in the way Sephiroth was now attacking. His actions were far less graceful and becoming stronger and more aggressive. Cloud couldn't keep up with it all, and received several more lashes across his body. The stinging new cuts combined with the spatters of blood disoriented him enough to cause him to take a blind swing at Sephiroth – a huge mistake. First Tsurugi was instantly knocked from his hands and fell to the ground, which was still getting further away. Before he knew it, one katana had suddenly rammed straight through his chest and came out the other side.

Sephiroth ceased flying upwards and remained suspended in the air at their current height. He grinned when he heard Cloud's cry of pain, and held him there, hanging – letting the familiarity of the injury sink in before he continued to verbally torment his nemesis. "I wonder, how many times must you feel this pain before you finally understand the true extent of my power? When will you realize that I will never stop returning, and you will receive the same injuries from me every time we battle?"

Cloud was too stunned to speak. How many times, indeed? How many times would he have to feel this before Sephiroth would die for good? In the throes of his extreme pain, Cloud couldn't hold back calling out the name of his adversary in an agonized voice. "Cilliaaaan!"

Sephiroth's face suddenly went neutral. For a moment, he simply looked at Cloud and blinked. He quickly collected himself after that, but couldn't help asking, "What?"

That was the exact question that Cloud was asking himself. He hadn't meant to say_ that_ name, how did he possibly mix it up? Surprisingly, it seemed to have an effect on the General. Now acting out of desperation, Cloud used the only tactic he had left. "Cillian! Your name is Cillian!"

"You're confused, puppet. That is not my name."

"_You're_ the one who's confused! Your name is Cillian!"

"That is _not_ my name!" Sephiroth surprised himself with the tone of his own voice. Raising like that was something he _never_ did.

Cloud knew he had found a pressure point now. If it would keep Sephiroth from finishing him off, then it was definitely worth pressing harder. Though, he was seriously wondering how much longer he could handle dangling from the katana like this. Blood was making its way into his throat and causing his voice to become raspy. "You're not Sephiroth, you don't even look like him anymore! You look like a completely different person, now! Your name is Cillian!"

"Silence!"

"You're Cillian! You're a suicidal hermit whose life I saved yesterday – twice!"

"Lies! You're speaking lies!" Sephiroth couldn't hide a look of disbelief when his hands started trembling.

Cloud could feel himself beginning to lose consciousness by the way images blurred and voices sounded watery, but that didn't stop him from trying to win the fight. "I _did_ save your life! Do you want to know why? I saved your life because I actually cared about you! And I knew you cared about me too when you defended the Church for me! That is not what _Sephiroth _did, that is what _Cillian _did! You _are_ Cillian!"

Without warning, Sephiroth let out a thundering battle cry and flung Cloud toward the ground with tremendous force. His nemesis crashed through the third corner of the building they had previously been standing on, causing it to give in on itself. Slowly at first, the entire structure began to topple over in Cloud's direction. Sephiroth saw the blond laying at the bottom of the small crater he had formed on impact with the ground, reaching out to him in his dazed stupor. It almost looked as if he were mouthing the word 'please'. The sight caused Sephiroth's once clear thoughts to jumble up in his mind. Cloud looked so helpless now, but his feelings of smug glory were suddenly washed over with an overwhelming sense of dread. So many confusing and unwanted thoughts and emotions were beginning to fog his mind. He blinked once…twice…and then his eyes dilated…

After Cloud had hit the ground, his entire body had begun to feel numb. He could barely hear the crackle of the frail building crumbling over in his direction. He barely noticed the debris falling around him, or the large shadow that was beginning to loom over him from the falling structure, threatening to crush him at any moment. The only thing he did notice before he blacked out, was a curtain of dark feathers that eclipsed his remaining vision.

* * *

_Did I die for real this time?_

…

_I guess not. It's too empty and dark here to be the lifestream._

_It's really depressing now that I think about it – how lonely my own head feels. I miss Zack and Aerith even more now._

…

_What happened to Sephiroth? I'd never seen him freak out like that before. And why was he pretending to be an entirely different person beforehand? _

_I thought it was all an act, but now I'm not so sure. _

_What else could it be, though? Why would he behave like someone else? If it's not for the sake of getting close to me before killing me off, then why create the Cillian persona in the first place? What other reason could there possibly be?_

* * *

The first thing Cloud felt upon regaining his consciousness was a small tingle at the base of his neck. It came from the feeling of a hot breath being blown on his cold skin. He could hear a soft breathing right next to one ear and shuddered at the closeness of it. As his senses continued to regain, he became aware of two strong arms that held him tightly against a still, but warm body. One hand was placed on his backside, pushing him chest-to-chest against the muscular figure. The other hand palmed the back of his head, and pressed his face into the crook of a soft, ivory neck. A large, black wing cocooned the two of them, which only added to the warmth and comfort of the new development.

Cloud began to feel a fuzzy, pleasant feeling building up inside. Being embraced like this was almost completely foreign for him. The closest he ever came to feeling this sensation before, was the kind, loving hugs he used to receive from his mother. But this felt slightly different. It felt more possessive than anything, which left him feeling secure and uneasy at the same time. He imagined that this must be how couples felt when they woke up in bed together – in each other's arms. Though, mushy-gushy relationship stuff like that was something he never participated in, he had to admit that this was a very nice feeling he was getting from it.

He shifted slightly, and then winced when the stinging from his cuts jumped back to life. The pain in his chest from being impaled had also made itself known, but it was more of an intense burning compared to the other minor injuries. Mentally, Cloud thanked the gods for his mako enhancements and how they allowed him to heal many times faster than normal humans. Otherwise, he would've surely died by now from his bleeding wounds. A few of the smaller slashes had already closed up thanks to it. He leaned back uncomfortably and faced the dark angel, who was still sleeping. The blond was quite surprised by how peaceful he appeared. It really made him seem like an entirely different person.

Cloud watched as his two green eyes blinked open. The shade provided by the large wing caused them to glow. The two men locked gazes for a while, and the blond found it surprisingly riveting to stare at the alluring figure before him.

All of a sudden, something clicked inside of Cloud's head – exactly who he was staring at, and why it was now becoming so painfully awkward to be doing so. He blushed, and with a jolt, he pushed himself away from Sephiroth and scrambled to his feet. But he couldn't stay standing for long. Any strain he put on his chest had multiplied his pain by what felt like millions, and caused him to collapse.

"Gods! What the hell, Sephiroth?!"

"Don't call me that." The angel grumbled as he sat up. "Though, I trust that you now know why."

Cloud was crumbling on the ground. His last outburst was not helping his chest in the slightest. He tried to speak as calmly as he could. "So…_Cillian's_ back? I guess that explains why you're not trying to murder me at the moment, but what was that about just now? Why were we…" he trailed off and grimaced before continuing. "…Why were we _cuddling_?"

Cillian rose to his feet and dusted his clothes. "It's kind of a long story. Although, for the record, I'd like to point out that any sort of affectionate interactions were not intended."

"Oh, really? Then please, do enlighten me."

Cillian crossed his arms and let his gaze fall to the ground. "I guess I could manage to explain a shorter version… Alright, here's what had happened: When I came to my senses, I saw that you were about to be crushed under a falling building. I flew to your side and managed to carry you away in time, although I did not escape the wreckage unscathed. While in mid-flight, I came across a piece of falling debris that I could not avoid, and, well…" Cillian turned his head and revealed a swollen, bloody gash on the side of his forehead. "We tumbled, and all I could manage was to hold on to you tightly until we came to a full stop. I have no recollection of events after that point. I, too, must've fallen unconscious."

Cloud found himself not easily believing Cillian's claim, but he could care less at the moment. Truth or not, he just wanted something to be done about his pain. Once again, the holy water was the only option. He tried to stand again, and succeeded this time. Walking, though, was a whole different experience. Despite the fact that his legs were almost untouched from the battle, he still felt an intense burning every time he took a step. Cillian ran to his side and wrapped Cloud's arm over his shoulder.

"I can fly us there, if you'd like that."

Cloud took a gander at Cillian's face. His expression told the blond that he was sincerely worried about him. It only made Cloud feel even more uncomfortable – seeing that his nemesis was showing so much concern toward him. The added fact that he was willing to _carry_ him only increased his uneasiness. "No, it's fine. It's not very far, anyway."

The look that Cillian cave him said, _'are you sure? You look like you can barely even walk two steps.' _But the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Cloud even more by being forceful, and he answered, "Suit yourself."

"By the way, y-you know all that stuff I said about caring about you? I didn't really mean it. I-I was just trying to make you act like yourself again."

"What are you talking about?"

Cloud stopped, and felt his cheeks heating up even more. "Wait…you don't-uh…nevermind."

As the two slowly hobbled over to the church, the irony of the situation began to settle in Cloud's head. _He's taking care of me like I took care of him last night. Why? _

Almost as if Cillian read his thoughts, he said to Cloud, "Given the circumstances, I hope that my aid does not cause you too much disturbance, internally. After all, it's the least I can do for last night."

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but why are you suddenly grateful for me saving your life? You really seemed to want to die."

Cillian chuckled softly before answering, "Don't get me wrong, Cloud. I still want to die. It's simply the gesture of you valuing my life that I'm thanking you for. As you can imagine, it's been quite a while since anyone has cared for my wellbeing."

"…Yeah, I can imagine." Cloud grumbled as the two approached the church. As Cillian walked him over to the pool, he glanced at the now-destroyed flower bed. His hate toward the angel was then rekindled. "I won't forgive you for ruining Aerith's flowers." He snarled.

While helping Cloud step down into the water, Cillian turned and saw the wasted flower patch. "Oh, dear. Did Sephiroth do that?"

Cloud paused before he cupped the water in his hands and rubbed it over his chest. Had he just heard Cillian use his real name? "I thought you hated that name."

"What I hate is being _addressed_ with that name."

Cloud heaved a sigh as he felt the cool, soothing liquid taking its affect. He then began to rub it over his arms and sarcastically continue the conversation. "Riiiight. Listen, you can just drop the act, okay? I've been trying to play along, but it's getting weird now."

Cillian simply tilted his head in curiosity. "Act?"

"Yeah, an act. You've been pretending to be someone else, but just give it a rest already. Your cover's been blown, so why keep it up?"

"What makes you think the '_act'_ was just for cover?"

Cloud paused at the question and began to consider other possibilities. When none came, he resumed by asking, "Well, what other reasons could there possibly be?"

Cillian stepped down into the pool and approached Cloud. The smaller man couldn't help feeling slightly intimidated by this. "Let me tell you right now, Cloud, that this is _not_ an act. _This_…" he moved his hands to gesture to himself "…This is _me_."

Cloud shot him a look and crossed his arms. Clearly, he wasn't buying it. "Oh, really? Are you telling me you're a changed man, now?"

Cillian shook his head. "Not changed, _different._"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? What's the difference?!"

Silently, Cillian turned his back to Cloud and seemed to lose himself in thought. After a long while, he finally spoke without turning back around. "At this point, you've successfully triggered my Sephiroth personality, interacted with it, and even managed to suppress it again – all in the same day, I might add. That's quite a feat, Cloud. I'm very impressed."

"Again, what does that even mean? And why _have_ you been switching between Sephiroth and Cillian? You know that there's no point anymore."

"It's…well…it's not exactly something I can control…"

"What?"

Cillian knew that he wasn't being any less confusing. Bluntly stating the truth, though, would only make Cloud believe him less. Unfortunately, it seemed like his only option now. He took a deep breath, faced Cloud and asked him, "Does the term D.I.D mean anything to you?"

"D.I.D?"

Cillian closed his eyes and heaved another deep breath. "Dissociative Identity Disorder."

Cloud's jaw nearly dropped to the floor in exasperation. _This_ was his excuse for behaving so differently?! It had to be a lie; a joke! Of all the things that could've possibly been able sway his nemesis, this was it?! In his mind, though, it actually started to make sense, but he absolutely refused to believe the only thing that was now keeping Sephiroth's calamitous side from showing, was some convenient mental disorder that made him think that he was an entirely different person. What were the odds?! It was too unrealistically ridiculous to be true, right? Cloud began to feel relieved, frustrated, and disbelieving all at the same time.

"Are you fucking kidding me?! How in hell do you expect me to believe that chocobo shit?!"

"I didn't, really. But what was I to say?"

"I don't know! I just-I just…I-I don't…" Cloud felt like his head was going to explode from all the emotions building up inside, trying to compensate for the magnitude of the new knowledge about his sworn enemy that was unravelling before him. Plus, the added confusion and hostility he suppressed earlier in order to fight Sephiroth suddenly came rolling in as well. It caused a feeling of panic to rise up above everything else. He could feel himself losing control of his body as he leapt out of the pool and ran to the entrance of the Church. Despite half of the building being destroyed, Cloud ran frantically into the opening out front in desperation for space and fresh air. Before he knew it, he had fallen to the ground and began to hyperventilate.

_This can't be possible! I don't even know if this is some kind of blessing, or a curse! How am I supposed to accept this?! Everything that's happened, everything that he's put me through, and he expects me to just look at him now and act like he never did those things?! Does he really expect me to pretend that he's not the same person anymore?! It's too much! I don't know what to think! I can't…think…_

His mind began a downward spiral, and it wasn't long before even his thoughts wouldn't remain in his control. Everything about Cloud began to filter into one emotion – hysteria. As he curled up on the ground and continued to hyperventilate, tears began to stream down his face. He felt like the world was falling apart beneath him, and there was nothing to hold onto. He felt as if he were plummeting to his death, and the only thing that could save him now was the miracle of an angel.

And then, an angel moved up behind Cloud and wrapped their arms around him. Through the haziness of hysteria, Cloud felt himself being pulled backwards into the angel's lap. He felt a face nuzzling into his neck and a hand stroking his hair. It felt like his mother, and the way she used to comfort him when the Nibelheim children bullied him.

Cloud then completely lost himself to his own mind. Time seemed to speed up as the world around him fell into darkness. Only the angel kept him from falling as well.

* * *

The two of them remained there for a long time. All the while, the angel spoke soothing words into Cloud's ear and even hummed for him. Cloud was oblivious to the attempts to comfort him, but at the same time, he could feel his mother's presence holding him and trying to soothe his soul. She held him tightly, silently promising never to let him go.

All Cloud knew now was that he was alone, confused, and in pain, but this presence was making it all go away. It felt like the sun was shining through a dark, rainy sky and warming him to the core. His heart burned at the feeling of being so cherished. And for the first time in nearly ten years, he even felt loved again.

With this newfound light, Cloud latched onto it and began to slowly ease himself back into reality. He opened his eyes. They were blurry from his tears, and they burned when a breeze blew into his face. He lifted his hand to wipe his eyes, and the first thing he noticed when his vision cleared was a black wing cocooning him – just like earlier. It made him feel secure again. And as his breathing slowed, he leaned his head back against the angel's shoulder and closed his eyes again while hummed in pleasure. All he wanted was to remain there, in the arms of his savior, and simply feel their closeness. He savored the feeling of a beating heart thumping against his back, the warmth of a face pressed into the side of his neck, the long fingers running through his hair…

"Do you feel better, Cloud?" Cillian's voice suddenly chimed in.

Cloud flinched. Once again, his mind snapped into a total realization of his surroundings. He had been so lost in his feelings, he hadn't even realized who was with him! It wasn't his mother, it was his own nemesis! It was as if history had nearly repeated itself – twice in one day! A wave of embarrassment washed over him, not only from being so awkwardly close to Cillian again, not just for breaking down into a fit of hysteria and tears right in front of him, but for mistaking the feelings he had and confusing him with his own mother! He couldn't believe how soft Cillian had made him feel at that time. He couldn't believe that the older man so willingly tried to comfort him in his moment of vulnerability – and he actually did a fantastic job, too.

In an almost exact repeat of the last time Cloud came to in Cillian's arms, he jolted away from him with an angered remark and a blush on his face. "Let go of me! Why do you keep doing that?!"

A look of disappointment flashed across Cillian's face before he stood up and answered, "I thought it would help…"

Cloud's embarrassment started channeling into anger, which in turn left him frantically flailing his arms in the air. "Don't give me that! Do you not realize how weird it is to have you Mother-Henning me like that?!"

A smirk appeared on Cillian's lips. "It certainly didn't stop you from doing the same to me last night."

Cloud blushed harder. "Oh, please! You know _damn well_ that I had no idea that you were…well…_you!_"

Cillian crossed his arms defensively. "Would you actually rather have been left there, alone? Did you not find me even remotely helpful just now? It certainly seemed like you did."

Cloud, too, crossed his arms in defense. He knew that Cillian was right, but his pride told him not to let it show. "Believe me, your help was not needed. I could've calmed down just as easily by myself. Maybe even faster! Yeah, your _'help' _was probably only making things worse for me!"

Cillian narrowed his eyes. "I'm sure."

The blond was now trembling in anger. While his cheeks had been pink from blushing, his entire face was now starting to heat up into a deep red. "Fuck you! I don't need your help! This is all your fault, anyway!"

"_My_ fault?!"

"I wouldn't be standing here, with you, in this mess right now if _you_ weren't acting like a total psychopath in the first place!" Cloud started pointing at his own fingers to count. "First, I saved you from _killing yourself_ on multiple accounts. Second, you almost drowned me _because_ I tried to save your life. Not to mention, your Sephiroth persona tried to murder me as well. And _third_, you then proceed to go about cradling me in your arms like I'm some helpless little child or something. And your reason for doing this? Because you feel oh, so grateful for me saving your life – which, for some reason, you seem to value all of a sudden. Do us both a favor and make up your _godsdamn_ mind about _who_ you want to be, and whether you want to be alive or not!"

"Many of those events would not have happened if you had actually _listened_ to me when I tried to warn you about Sephiroth! We would not be standing here right now if you weren't too foolish for your own good!"

"What?!"

"How many times did I have to say it?! How many times did I have to scream to the top of my lungs that you _had_ to stop saying his name?! You were toying with something beyond my control, and because of your carelessness, you put the planet at a great risk!"

"Shut up! I don't want to hear about how much you care for the planet now! You never have! I can't stand you and your stories about how much you've changed! It literally makes me sick! You really wanna do something for the planet?! Bring back Aerith! Bring back all the lives you've taken!"

"I told you, I'm not the one who did all of that!"

"Give me a break! You may have fooled _yourself_ into thinking that you can be excused from any crime just by pretending to be someone else, but I know who you are! You haven't done one good thing for the planet in your entire life! You were ending lives even before you went on your apocalyptic rampage! You killed my mother and destroyed my hometown, and no amount of your _cuddling_ is going to make me forgive you for anything!"

"You know what?! If I'm being such a burden, then maybe I should just leave! I'll go back and return to my life of solitude, which was perfectly fine until _you_ showed up!"

"Fine! Go ahead! I don't care!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine."

Cillian extended his enormous black wing, and with one graceful flap, he went bolting into the sky. Cloud watched him take off, and then stormed over to the church. He angrily mumbled to himself the entire time, not caring when he threw the doors open with superhuman strength. The doors slammed against the walls with a loud crash, and almost fell off their old, rusty hinges. He began to pace up and down the main aisle in deep thought. Every once in a while, in a short fit of rage, he would find a large piece of debris and throw it at a random object, or resort to stomping his feet so hard that he would almost make a hole in the floor.

_What is wrong with him?! First he acts like a complete psycho, and then wants me to pretend like it's nothing!? How could he possibly be going about this so lightly?! He's freaking Sephiroth! He almost ended the world twice, and now he expects me to forget all of that when he's using his Cillian persona! Like hell I am! Who does he think he is?! How could he possibly think that I would ever want anything to do with him in the first place?!_

Cloud was so caught up in his mental ranting that he didn't notice the angel fly in through the top of the building. Cillian landed in front of the main entrance watched him for a while until he determined that the younger man was not going to notice him on his own. He raised a fist in front of his mouth and loudly cleared his throat. Cloud eventually looked up from pacing and gave him a death stare that almost made Cillian reconsider what he was going to say.

"What do you want?" Cloud asked fiercely.

"I…uh…found this…" he said hesitantly as he lifted First Tsurugi with both hands. He silently wondered how such a small man could carry this thing around all the time.

Cloud stood still for a while, but finally stomped over to Cillian and snatched the sword from his hands. He then twirled it three times and latched is to his back. It was a small habit for Cloud that he didn't know he did anymore, but Cillian struggled to suppress a wave of memories he was now experiencing. "This doesn't change anything, you know. I still hate you for everything you've done."

"I know."

"Then why come back in the first place? You may be different now, but that doesn't mean that I'll forgive you."

Cillian shifted nervously for a moment. "Yet, I felt an apology was best-suited for this time."

Cloud's face twisted into a snarl. How could this man possibly still think that he could be forgiven? Plus, the added fact that he felt sorry in the first place deeply unnerved the blond. "Don't even bother saying it. I can't even_ listen _to you talking about how sorry you are right now. It'll only make me feel even sicker."

The older man looked down at the floor in disappointment. "Well, I also thought that you still had questions for me…"

Cloud considered. There were many things he still wanted to know, so he started with what seemed like the most important one. "Alright then, fine. Answer me this: how did you get D.I.D. in the first place?" he kept his tone bitter, trying to strongly hint that he was still mad.

Cillian perked up and gave Cloud a smirk. "That, my friend, is a long story."

_Don't call me your friend._


	4. A Long Story

After analyzing the suggestive content in this story, I've decided that there actually hasn't been enough for its current rating. So...screw it, I'm bumping it down from M to T. I still don't know how it will turn out in the future, but for now, this is where the rating should be at. Although, if you think otherwise, please let me know.

I'm also sorry to inform that from now on, chapter updates won't be as frequent. I might try writing other shorter stories just to get my mind off of this one if I feel like it. But don't worry, I'm not abandoning it.

**Warning: **For a chapter that's mostly dialogue, there's surprisingly little language. Though, I should warn you that writing this much dialogue is not particularly a strong area of mine. Apologies in advance if things turned out boring or weird.

* * *

**Cillian**

**_4. A Long Story_**

* * *

The old church had gone quiet as the ex-warriors found their own places of comfort. The only sound that could be heard was the constant thumping of Cillian's hard-soled boots hitting the floor as he paced around the building (apparently this was supposed to help him think better). Cloud went to take a seat on one of the benches. For the sake of leg room, he chose the front row.

He took one last look at the ruined flower bed. Each flower had either been snapped at the stem or completely flattened. Cloud reminded himself that it _was_ possible for them to grow back with the right care, but it would take time. It had mainly been the mere thought of his last physical memory of Aerith being treated so horribly that angered him the most. At least there was a chance of getting it back.

_Hang on! You're not actually forgiving him, are you? He destroyed the flowers!_

_-Well, he was someone else at the time…_

_-And?! He can't just be excused from that. He's a psycho! He did it on purpose, you know!_

_-Hey, just because I'm acknowledging that he didn't do quite as much damage as I first believed, doesn't mean that I'm actually forgiving him._

_-Yeah, right. You're totally letting him off the hook. He doesn't deserve it! _

Cloud's internal battle with himself was interrupted by Cillian's voice saying, "Before I begin, there is something I should warn you about. Talking about my past will cause some…memories…to surface. The deeper I dig, the more likely it is for Sephiroth to reappear."

"If that's the case, shouldn't we restrain you?"

"With what?"

Cloud glanced around the church. He didn't spot any rope laying around, and he was certain that he hadn't brought anything either. "Good point."

"Well, at least you know how to bring me back."

Cloud laughed awkwardly for a bit, but Cillian only raised an eyebrow in slight amusement. Once he collected himself he continued, "Yeah, I guess…that's true."

Cillian began pacing toward the opposite side of the building from Cloud. His voice echoed slightly, especially when he spoke the first words of his next sentence louder than the rest. "_Now_ then, the subject of my D.I.D. Hmm…well, you understand what it means for me to have that, right?"

"All I know is that one minute you could be _you, _the next minute you could be Sephiroth." Although Cloud was still facing the front of the church, he could hear Cillian behind him making a slight sigh of frustration.

"_Yes_, Cloud, that is generally what it means. Someone with this disorder will exhibit many unassociated personalities – as if multiple minds were trapped in the same body. Each personality will only come to surface under the right conditions. There is always a trigger that will cause this to happen. In my case, it is the continuous use of addressing of me by my real name that will cause…the other guy…to appear."

Cillian glanced back over toward Cloud. He had a look on his face that told he was in deep thought. Cillian reasoned that this meant that the blond was having a hard time following along. Although, judging by the lack of questions, he seemed to be on track. He then continued, "More often than not, the personalities will be unaware of each other. But-"

"Wait! _You're_ aware of the other personality."

Cillian gave Cloud a look that came across as, _'if you want your head to stay attached to your body, don't interrupt me anymore.' _Despite having already been sitting down, Cloud still wanted to get up and take many steps back. "As I was _saying_, in my case, the _original_ identity is the one that is most oblivious. It hasn't come to surface nearly as much as I have, therefore, there was less opportunity to learn of the disorder."

"Oh…" Cloud paused to make sure that he was okay to talk. "…So, does that mean that Sephiroth isn't aware of you?"

"I do not believe so. Did he not seem aware of me?"

"I'm not sure…"

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Cillian said this in a lower, smoother, and a slightly more smug tone than before – like Sephiroth would.

In a small wave of panic, Cloud jumped to his feet and whipped around toward Cillian. Fortunately, he still seemed like…well…_Cillian_. Cloud then knew he was being made fun of by the way the angel suddenly started to laugh. He was actually…laughing!

Cloud was taken aback by the sight before him. It was unbelievable to see this man laughing like this. It wasn't maniacal, evil, or even _psychotic_. It was just normal laughter. Something unnerved Cloud about this new sense of humor that his ex-nemesis was displaying. Perhaps it was only a sign that he simply had to get used to seeing Cillian acting completely different than Sephiroth – despite the fact that they were inhabiting the same body. He soon began to understand to a better extent of what Cillian had meant when he said that he was a different man.

This didn't mean that Cloud wasn't still annoyed by the joke. "That wasn't funny!"

Through his uneven gasping, Cillian managed to wheeze out, "Yes, it _was_."

"No it wasn't! Don't even joke about bringing him back!"

Unfortunately, Cillian only seemed to laugh harder at everything that Cloud said. While seeing him do this was quite intriguing, it was also just as much annoying. All Cloud could do without provoking him further was stand and scowl until he finally collected himself. "Aww, did I scare you, Cloud?" he mocked.

"You know what? Just forget it! We're getting off-topic, anyway. Just tell me why you have this crazy mental condition in the first place."

Cillian sighed before he began to speak again. "As you wish. Although, it is difficult to explain it without the knowledge of how and why I've been resurrected to begin with. In addition, I'm short on details of what had driven Sephiroth to create me in the first place."

"Hang on, I thought you said that is was a _long story_, as in, you had a lot to say about it."

"It _is_ a long story, no doubt. But what I had meant when I said that, was how complicated the telling of said story was going to be. I was not particularly referring to the length. Most of what I have to say about this matter is based off of my own deduction and reasoning."

"So…these are actually just a bunch of guesses you have about him? Not the real truth?"

Cillian shot another annoyed and slightly threatening glance. "In a sense, yes. Due to the fact that I am a different man, and that I had not even been in existence during the time of the following events, I cannot know for certain what was going through his mind in order to make the circumstances for my creation. Though, because we share the same mind, he isn't all that difficult to figure out. Forgive me if my information has flaws in it."

The blond was now beginning to grow impatient. He wasn't particularly enjoying having to spend any longer with this man. There was something about him that made Cloud uneasy whenever they were near each other. "Alright, just give it a try, anyway."

Cillian turned toward Cloud and walked to him. "This will be hard to talk about. I might as well make it easier for you if something should happen."

Cloud understood what he meant by that. Though, he didn't like having to be this much closer to Cillian, he still waited until the two of them were face-to-face in front of each other before nodding as a sign for the angel to continue.

Cillian crossed his arms and looked to the floor. "From what I understand, my persona was created on the grounds of the need for a more human personality than Sephiroth could handle being himself."

"Meaning?"

Cillian took another deep breath. It sounded shaky, and Cloud knew that he was already having trouble. He silently braced himself for any sudden moves the angel might make. "You see, because Jenova no longer exists outside of my own body, there has been no direct influence from her any longer to make me do her work. Like a puppet…with its strings cut."

With the use of that particular word, Cloud immediately checked Cillian's eyes for any signs of dilation. Luckily, they still seemed normal, but he kept watching them just in case. He tried to ignore the voice in the back of his head saying how weird it was that he was staring at Cillian's eyes like this. Cloud just hoped that he wouldn't look up and see what he was doing…

"Without Jenova's influence, Sephiroth was capable of having a mind of his own. Of course, he still felt very inclined to finish what he had started. After all, the stigma crisis was all his own doing. But do you know what happens to an evil genius led astray from his plans?" Cloud only shrugged. He then noticed Cillian's tone becoming heavier with what sounded like self-loathing. "…I believe it all started with…a feeling. A feeling that was possibly guilt or sorrow." Cloud's eyes widened at the possibility that Sephiroth could have actually felt _sorry_ for something.

"This new feeling started small, but it only allowed for more of his mind to be consumed. Day after day, his doubts and emotions grew. He soon realized that it was causing him to become more human. It wasn't acceptable to him. He tried to suppress his feelings, but it only made things worse." Cillian then turned his back to Cloud. If the blond hadn't been so perplexed by the story, he would've remembered to keep eye contact.

"Although, he refused to acknowledge these feelings and tried to maintain his malevolent ways. This left him torn between two different possible outcomes for his identity. He would either remain as the Sephiroth that everyone knew, or give in to his feelings and become someone else."

Cloud was now beginning to make connections in his head. "So…he was having an identity crisis?" Somehow, this whole concept seemed to play a huge role throughout his life. He didn't want to, but he began to empathize with his nemesis.

"Yes, precisely. And this decision between identities eventually drove him to madness – a different kind of madness than he was already experiencing. Each possible life sounded equally as good as bad…so why not? …Why not be both? One could continue striving for world destruction while the other was burdened with the emotional baggage. It's a fair arrangement if you ask me."

"How is that _fair_? No offense, but you've become a complete wreck because of it."

"Yes, that fool is almost literally torn to shreds. But who cares about him? I do all the hardest work, anyways."

"…Cillian?"

"Hush, puppet. I'm listening…"

"Cillian!" Cloud darted around in front of the angel. His gaze was still locked on the floor, but his eyes were twitching and turning into slits.

"…I'm listening…for mother…"

"Wake up, Cillian!" Cloud did the only thing he could now think of. He drew his hand back and swung hard, landing his palm against Cillian's left cheek. If Cloud hadn't been in a state of panic, he would've been busy priding himself for finally being able to slap this man.

Cillian reeled back upon impact and let out a sharp gasp. "Cloud…what…?"

The blond grabbed Cillian by the shoulders and started to shake him. "Don't you _dare_ turn on me! Your name is not Sephiroth, it's Cillian!"

Cillian tied to protest, but could only speak between each violent shake he was receiving. "Let…go…of…me…"

"Tell me what your name is!"

"Cloud! Let…go!"

"Your name is Cillian! Tell me your name is Cillian!"

"My name is Cillian, dammit!" The angel placed his hands on Cloud's chest and shoved him backwards hard enough to make him fall back onto his bench.

An awkward silence befell on the two of them before Cloud finally cut in, "Uh…Good."

Cillian's fingers involuntarily made their way up to his hair – which had been messed up in the excitement – and began running them through to fix it back up. His eyes then narrowed at Cloud in annoyance. "Was all of that _really_ necessary?"

"What was I supposed to do?! You were about to become Sephiroth again!"

"That doesn't mean you should just lose your mind over it! I know Sephiroth is bad, but…"

"Alright, alright. I _might've_ overreacted," Cloud raised his hands to his surrender, "but I _did_ have a good reason for it!"

Cillian only sighed and moved to sit down next to Cloud. It was apparent that the argument had become pointless to him already. He sat in silence and continued to run his fingers through his silver and black hair as Cloud quietly (and awkwardly) watched him. With his attention now on Cillian's hair, Cloud began to wonder about the new choice of style. Somehow, it hadn't fully occurred to him until now that this was the first time he had ever seen this man with short hair. His curiosity levels peaked at how it could've possibly ended up that way. He wanted to ask, but for some reason, he felt unusually nervous to even bring the subject up.

It didn't take long for Cillian to notice Cloud's curious and conflicted expression. It was quite obvious that there was something he wanted to know about, but was too nervous to say anything. It took an even shorter time for him to understand exactly _what_ the blond was trying to ask about. He didn't particularly like that it was so hard to speak of. He might as well try to help him get it out. "Is there something you want to ask?"

"I…er, uh…you, ah…well…what…?"

Cillian was easily beginning to become irked at Cloud's stuttering. When push comes to shove… "For Shiva's sake, Cloud. Just say it!"

"WHYDIDYOUCUTYOURHAIR?!" Cloud's mouth immediately clamped shut after his outburst. He even scooted a little ways away from Cillian just for good measure.

"It was too long."

Cloud stared at him in disbelief at the simplicity of the answer. "What? That's it? That's all it took for you to cut it?!"

"I'm honestly surprised that that's not everything it took for Sephiroth to cut it _himself_. How on Gaia was that man able to handle it? It was quite possibly, and literally the longest hair on the planet – certainly the longest belonging to a _man_."

Cloud was still too perplexed to speak and only nodded in agreement to everything he said. He also found it amusing how Cillian kept referring to Sephiroth as a different person, despite the fact that they were one and the same – meaning that Cillian was really only talking about himself and his own problems.

Cillian then began counting with his fingers as he listed more hair care dilemmas. "…Honestly, Cloud, how much time was spent every day keeping it in such a perfect condition? How much of his budget was spent on hair products? And what about all of the safety hazards? He must've constantly been at risk of being accidentally strangled. Not to mention, how often it would've gotten caught in his own armor, or tree branches, or gotten stuck in a door. How many times had it been blown into his face while in combat – or someone else's face, for that matter? How many times had it ended up in his food when he ate? And through all of this, his masculinity hadn't come into question even once?! How was it so damned easy?!"

Though it was entertaining to watch Cillian rant like this, Cloud had learned at this point that any erratic behavior from this man was not a good sign.

"Uh…Cillian? I need you to calm down now…" It took a bit more coaxing than that to calm him down, but eventually, Cloud managed to get the angel to take a deep breath and relax his composure.

"…In hindsight, having hair that long is more trouble than it's worth for me. The first blade I found, I hacked away at it until it was no longer an unnecessary length."

"Speaking of blades, what happened to Masamune?"

Judging by the way Cillian flinched at the word, it was definitely a sensitive topic. There was a great deal of stress in his tone when he spoke, "Now, I'm going to say this quickly: Wherever Masamune is, is wherever I came from. I have absolutely no intention of going back there, especially for the sake of Sephiroth's favored weapon."

Cloud felt an urge to ask about where he actually _did_ come from, but his common sense told him otherwise. The hair was probably a safer bet. "So…what was in your hair, then?"

"Hmm?"

"I mean, why was your hair black?" Cloud summoned the nerve to reach out and take a silver and black lock in his fingers; to which his hand was immediately slapped away.

"Having silver hair and glowing green eyes was likely to raise some suspicion. I had to change my appearance as much as possible, which included the coloration of my hair."

Cloud crossed his arms at the statement. "Uh-huh…because people who are emo and dress completely in black don't stand out _at all_." Cloud sarcastically remarked. Cillian then quietly muttered something that Cloud could've sworn sounded like, '_speak for yourself.'_

"No, they don't. Not when they spend the majority of their time away from people in the first place."

Cloud began to shrink back in his seat. The similarities he was beginning to realize that he and Cillian shared were almost disturbing.

"Anyway, is there anything else you want to know? I'd like to finish this conversation soon. I haven't eaten in a while, you know."

A rush of hunger suddenly surged through Cloud's gut. He hadn't realized until now how hungry he was. After all, it was nearly midday and he hadn't eaten since the evening prior. "Well, there is one more question: Why do you want to die so badly? It's not like Sephiroth to want to stay dead, so why is it different for you?"

Cillian crossed his arms and dropped his gaze. At this point, Cloud had figured that this was his 'deep-thought' expression. A look of sadness twisted his face slightly before answering, "Let's just say, it's for the good of the planet."

"In all honesty, you're probably right. But that wasn't as much of an answer as I was hoping for."

"Life is full of disappointments." This he said with a smirk.

"Riiiight."

Cloud stood up and made his way over to his sleeping mat, which his sack of supplies was placed next to. He always packed a small snack when he was planning on spending a night away from home – just a small portion until he returned to the tavern for a real meal. He reached in and pulled out a single Banora Apple.

_Just one? I really don't eat much, do I?_

Cloud walked back over to Cillian and held the apple out in front of him. Once Cillian saw the fruit, a look overcame his face that could only be described as a combination of fear and anger. "A _dumbapple_?"

"Sorry I don't have anything else, but you probably need this more than I do."

"No, Cloud. I_ can't_ have that." Cillian then sprang up from the bench and moved away from Cloud. His expression was becoming panicked and his breathing was beginning to speed up.

It didn't take long for the blond to get the hint. By all the lousy luck on Gaia, he had to pick a food that upset Cillian. It was probably for better that he didn't eat it in front of the angel, either. He raised his hands to show he meant no harm, then bent down and rolled the apple away – toward the front of the church.

Cillian glared at the fruit the entire time it moved. Once it came to a stop, he sighed and spoke again. "I apologize for that. I know it was the only thing you had…"

"No…I get it. Banora Apples must be linked to your past somehow."

Cillian put on his 'deep-thought' expression again and said, "All I know for certain is that whenever I see one, I feel an overwhelming sense of…regret. Perhaps they remind Sephiroth of something he did, or of someone he wronged."

Cloud looked into his own memories, as well as the ones he had gotten from Zack. The more he thought about dumapples, three figures came to mind.

_Dumapples…Dumapples…Angeal…Genesis…Zack…_

Whether this had anything to do with Cillian's apple anxiety, he figured it best not to bring those names up.

"Still, fresh fruit would have been a nice relief from my usual diet."

Cloud raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? And what have you been eating this whole time, anyway?"

A smirk returned to Cillian's lips. "I've been mainly living off of dead animals for the past three months."

_Gods! That's a long time to keep eating the same things...especially dead things. I don't know why, but it just makes me feel a bit sick. _

After fighting a small urge to throw up, he finally exclaimed, "_Three_ months? Is that how long you've been back for?"

"It is as long as _I've_ existed, and as long as I've lived on my own."

"I see…" Cloud shifted uncomfortably before slowly asking another question. "What's it like…sharing Sephiroth's body?"

Cillian's green gaze met Cloud's. His eyes now suddenly seemed heavy with emotion. Wordlessly, He approached Cloud and moved behind him. Before the blond could protest, Cillian had his arms wrapped around Cloud's torso in an embrace. His chin rested on the top of the chocobo-like head, and he pulled the smaller man in closer.

Cloud's brain had nearly shut down from embarrassment at the surprising new development. Why was this happening again?! This was the last thing he wanted to do with Cillian! His cheeks heated up and his heart began to race. Despite how close he was to Cillian now, he sincerely hoped that the angel wouldn't be able to detect how nervous he was. At this point, it was becoming extremely frustrating how easy it was for Cloud to get so flustered and lose control of his emotions when he and Cillian had intimate moments like this.

_Calm down. It's just an innocent hug you're dealing with. So what if he's a hugger? So what if he's that kind of guy? Nothing serious… It's nothing to lose your head over…it's nothing…it's nothing…_

…

_Oh, please don't do anything else to me._

For the longest time, the two of them stood in silence. All Cloud had the brainpower to do was don a disbelieving expression and let his mouth hang agape while he blinked. His senses were heightened, but at the same time completely useless to him. He was so sensitive now, every tiny shift Cillian had made sent quakes through his consciousness.

After what felt like hours for Cloud, he finally found the strength to try and speak (Albeit his voice was weak and shaky). "Uh…Cillian?"

Cillian lowered his head next to Cloud's ear and spoke so softly, it was almost a whisper. "The feeling is indescribable, Cloud."

Cloud's body instantly went from limp to tense when he felt Cillian's breath against his ear. His eyes shut tightly and his teeth clenched at the feel of the unwanted closeness. He couldn't hold in a small whimper when he felt two soft lips brush against the lobe of his ear.

"It's frightening…how easily I can lose control."

Cloud's heart was beating faster than ever. His breathing was now in uneven gasps. The tension in his body was so high, he was at risk of passing out right there, in Cillian's arms.

_I can't take this anymore! This isn't right! What does he think he's doing?! I can hardly even think with him this close to me! I can't believe how close I am to losing my head! Can't he see that he's turned me into a nervous wreck by now?! Do I really need to spell it out for him?!_

Cloud braced himself for any other moves the angel could make…but for some reason he stopped. The only thing he did now was lift his head back up and place his chin back on top of Cloud's head. He only continued to hold Cloud closely and possessively for a long while. Cloud didn't understand why he would do this, but began to relax once he figured that nothing else was going to happen between them.

And once his nervousness and fear subsided, he felt like he could actually enjoy Cillian's kind embrace. He began to feel the tension in his body leaving, and he settled in the angel's arms. Silently, he humored the fact that he calmed down almost as quickly as he tensed up in the first place. What had caused him do that? Eventually, he came to the same dead end as always – that for some reason, Cillian had a strange effect on his emotions, and could make him lose self-control when he least expected. It was hard to deal with, but if he was going to spend more time around him, he would have to get used to it.

Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to indulge in these small, intimate acts that Cillian displayed. After all, the only reason he didn't seem to like it in the first place, was because of who Cillian really was. Perhaps as long as these moments remained a secret, then it wouldn't be so hard to deal with. For now, it was just nice to finally relax and feel comfortable near him for once.

"Yo!"

Cloud and Cillian both paled and stilled at the intrusive greeting. They exchanged glances, and then whipped around toward the front entrance. Two figures stood in the doorway, watching them. Before Cloud could do or say anything, Cillian released his hold on the blond and flew straight up and away in a blast of air.

"Wait!" Cloud shouted. Though, the angel was already out of earshot. A wave of dread suddenly overcame him. For some reason, not having an eye on Cillian was deeply unsettling him. Angrily, he glanced at the two figures in the doorway with a heated look. The first two words that came to mind when he saw them were _red _and _bald._

"Oh…it's _you_." Cloud sneered.

"It's nice to see you, too." Reno said as he grinned and gave Cloud a two-fingered salute. Rude simply nodded to Cloud in greeting.

"What do you, two want? I was in the middle of something."

"And by 'something' you mean, you were about to get busy with _Sephiroth_." Reno said with a teasing smile.

Cloud's eyes widened. "What? You-!"

"Yes, Cloud, we know." Rude said curtly.

Cloud could almost literally hear his own brain shatter. Somehow, he wasn't all that surprised that the Turks had been keeping tabs on Sephiroth this whole time, but the full force of the knowledge still left him completely appalled.

_This whole time? This whole freaking time?! Why haven't they done anything about it, though? Does that mean they know about his D.I.D.? Did they see everything that happened? Even when I was fighting Sephiroth? I almost got killed and they didn't do anything?!_

He wanted to ask all of these questions, but before they left his mouth, Reno began talking again.

"Relax, man. I was just havn' fun with ya." He then pulled out a dumapple (from gods know where) and took a bite from it.

Cloud stared at the fruit in utter dismay. "Wh-where the hell did you get that?!"

"I just found it, yo. An' I can't believe my own luck! It's been forever since I've had one."

The sound of Cloud's palm meeting his forehead rang throughout the building.

"If I may interject," Rude interjected, "We've only come to deliver a message from Tseng. It won't take much of your time."

Cloud sighed in frustration and glanced at the two Turks between his fingers. "Fine. Just…make it quick."

The two partners exchanged looks before Rude delivered the message. "We want you to stay away from Sephiroth."


	5. Stay Away From Him

Yay! I finished chapter 5! ...well, obviously. I even renamed the chapters because...why not?

You guys have probably been wondering why I chose to name Sephiroth's alter ego _Cillian._ Well...you see...

**Fun fact:** The name _Cillian _(also spelled as: Killian) is Celtic in origin and has two meanings: 1) war; conflict; **strife.** 2) monastery; **church**

When I was trying to find a good name for Sephiroth's alter ego I just happened to find _Cillian _by coincidence, and it was way too good to pass up. So now you know, there's a method to my madness.

**Warning: **Nothing except a few bad words, really.

* * *

**Cillian**

**_5. Stay Away From Him_**

* * *

Damn those Turks. They were always causing trouble for Cillian. Had they not learned by now that appearing like that could potentially summon a more dangerous personality? At least they were smart enough not to address him by his real name. That much they had learned from their last encounter…

But why would they be here? The only logical answer seemed that it had to do with Cloud. Did he sell him out? Or had they been watching him this whole time?

Whatever the answer, being around them was dangerous enough. He had no choice but to leave Cloud once they showed up. …And what of their timing? Cillian couldn't decide if it was awful or fortunate.

Cloud had just begun to calm down at that point when they appeared, which was nothing if not frustrating. He had been waiting for the blond to become at ease with being so close to him. If a few more moments had gone by, Cillian would've certainly lost his self-control.

The world he knew had become centered around this man, whether he liked it or not. In his short time in existence, the only emotions he felt before meeting the younger man were confusion, anger, loneliness, and fear. He knew deep down that he wasn't supposed to be alive in the first place. Even before he learned of his true identity, something felt out-of-place about his existence. But once he did learn about his original persona, he was utterly terrified to learn of the havoc and destruction he once brought to the world. He couldn't accept it at first. All he wanted was to leave it all behind and live a new life. Yet, everywhere he turned, there were reminders of who he really was. What was worse, was learning of his ability to return from the afterlife. As long as Sephiroth's identity existed and the Jenova cells were inside of him, he would never be able to be consumed by the lifestream. Even in death, he could not safe from his alter. There was no such possibility as true peace for Cillian.

His life was in total despair. He had given up on trying to escape in the real world, and desperately strived to connect with the lifestream. Although killing himself would be pointless, as he would eventually be brought back, he saw it as his only option to save himself and the rest of the planet (if only temporarily). He couldn't bear it if he lost control and tried to end the world again. He was no idiot. At that point, death was much safer than living. Nobody wanted him to live, anyway.

Nobody except Cloud Strife.

Cillian was in misery the night they met. It was his lowest, darkest time of his life, and he almost succeeded in sealing his fate of becoming dormant within the lifestream. He wanted to die in the church in the sector five slums. He had actually been there before, and it was the only place where he found any dwindling hope of peace. He drank one vial of poison, but that barely made a dent in his mako-enhanced immune system. After the second one, the most he could feel was nausea. He figured that if he expelled enough of his body fluids through vomiting, he would be weak enough to be affected by a third dose of poison. He wandered for hours after that, feeling nauseous the whole time. He had vomited three times before arriving at the church, and looking back at it, he must've been hallucinating from the dehydration by the way he was supposedly talking to things that weren't there. After heaving his insides for the fourth time, he was in too much agony to stand being alive any longer. Once he downed the third vial, everything began to turn dark. He felt cold and weak, yet his body was on fire from the pain. He felt as if he was sinking, or perhaps drowning in his own sorrow, and any last spark of hope to live was smothered.

But somehow, someone else had a spark of hope for him. He had actually thought at first that an angel was rescuing him when Cloud appeared at his side. It seemed too unlikely that anyone would value his life, and of course, he didn't feel worthy of being saved. He protested, but this angelic figure was too insistent on saving his life. Cillian hadn't known compassion until this point, and rejected it at first. He couldn't handle the thought of suddenly being valued. He felt like the last person to deserve it.

To make his inner confliction worse, the angel had actually brought him inside of a church and tended to his wounds! Cillian didn't understand why anyone would do this. He didn't want to be cared for. He continued to protest, but the angel still insisted. It wasn't long before an aching feeling began to grow within his chest. It hurt, but it was a different pain than he had ever experienced before. It was a warm pain, unlike burning fire or stinging cuts. Being unfamiliar with it, he disliked the emotions it was making him feel. It made him feel happy, confused, cherished, and above all, he actually felt loved.

…_loved?_

It was impossible! How could anyone be capable of loving him? Even if they didn't know who he really was, he was still a stranger to them. And once they did learn, he would lose them! He didn't want this to happen. For some odd reason, he refused to lose this person.

"…_My name is Cloud. Cloud Strife. Will you tell me your name? ..."_

_Cloud…Cloud Strife…_

_Cloud Strife!? _

Cillian could almost feel his world crumbling beneath him. The very thought of the name brought up emotions that he didn't understand. And he knew enough of Sephiroth's past to know what Cloud had once meant to him. Of all people to save his life, of all people to care about him, of all people to care about in return, and it had to be Cloud Strife?!

"…_Will you tell me your name? …"_

_Strife…_

He had once chosen the name _Cillian _for himself out of refusal to be addressed as Sephiroth. It was during the first time he had visited the church. It simply seemed appropriate to be called. He considered the irony of the situation at hand before telling Cloud what his name was. Was it fate that his chosen name was_ Cillian_? After all, what were the odds that both of their names happened to carry _exactly the same meaning? _

How did he know what _Cillian_ meant? He actually didn't know how he knew the meaning. But his head was so jumbled and chaotic, he knew better than to waste time trying to figure it out.

From that point on, everything he knew and felt had somehow been reversed. He didn't understand compassion, or kindness, or affection; all he knew was that he cared about Cloud Strife now, and there was nothing he could do about it. The more time he spent around him, the more beloved the younger man became. His actions around Cloud were becoming increasingly less controllable, and more instinctive.

When he saw Cloud about to be crushed by a toppling building, he felt as if his whole world was about to come to a heart-shattering end and risked his own life to rescue him. When Cloud had his mental breakdown, Cillian's instinct was to comfort him and hold him until he recovered. Regardless whether this was how the blond felt about him last night or not, Cillian could not deny the existence of a powerful connection between them. Whether they were Mother-Henning each other or busy fighting to the death, they always seemed to find ways to be near each other.

Yet, of all the times he felt an impulse to be close to Cloud, this last time was much different. Cloud was not in any danger, nor was he having a moment of weakness, but Cillian still found himself aching to be close. In addition, there was a different feeling laced in with all his other typical confusing emotions. The only word he knew to describe it was _wanting_. He wanted to bury his face in Cloud's hair and breathe in his very essence. He wanted to run his hands over Cloud's milky bare skin and feel him shudder in pleasure at his touch. He wanted to spend an eternity gazing deep into Cloud's sky-like eyes and search for the same desire he hoped they shared.

Unfortunately, when he actually did embrace the blond, he seemed anything but willing to let those things happen. It was both dispiriting, and oddly arousing to know how strongly Cloud reacted at first to being held so close. Thanks to mako enhancements, Cillian could literally hear the smaller man's pulse escalating and his breathing becoming uneven. Feeling Cloud's heart beating against his own body, and his skin heating up and slicking with sweat had thrown Cillian's mind into a dither. The world around him became nothing but a blur.

A part of him still had enough sense to know when he was going too far. And when Cloud's discomfort worsened when he whispered into his ear, he decided it best to retreat back to his original stance and stay there until the younger man warmed up to him. For a moment, he silently humored the irony of how close he was to losing his self-control, having previously noted how easy it was for that to happen.

…And then those two Turks showed up.

Now he found himself standing somewhere in the remains of sector six, alone and confused as ever. He had to mentally and physically slap himself several times before his unwanted feelings toward Cloud were repressed. Instead, his attention became more focused on why those feelings were so bad to begin with. He soon began to feel quite ridiculous for even thinking of him that way._ Of course _Cloud felt uncomfortable about receiving any sort of affection from Cillian. Whether he wanted to be or not, he was still the same man that Cloud had loathed and fought to the death with for the sake of the planet. In the end, he was still the same psychopath who nearly brought world destruction and put an end to everything the younger man held dear. Small wonder why Cloud never seemed to relax around him, so how could Cillian ever think that he would be deserving of his care and kindness. Yes…it was utterly ridiculous.

He felt bad, though, for leaving Cloud alone back there, but he wasn't willing to go back to the church himself either. Now that the Turks had made themselves openly known, he felt it wise to stay away for a while. Unfortunately, that also meant staying away from Cloud.

_Stay away from Cloud_

Damn those Turks…

* * *

"Stay away from him?"

Rude lifted his hand up to adjust his shades. "I'm sure you can understand why."

"Not exactly, to be honest. I felt like I had the situation under control."

"Which is why you ended up triggering the _real_ Sephiroth a few hours ago." Rude said sarcastically.

Cloud crossed his arms. "Speaking of which, _what the hell_ were you guys doing while I was running around trying to defeat him myself? I didn't see any sign of you trying to pitch in and stop him. He almost fucking killed me! If you've kept an eye on him as much as I think you have, then where were you the whole time?!"

"_First_ of all," Reno took his electrical rod and waved it around in Cloud's face. It was turned off, but that didn't make it any less annoying. "We weren't actually gonna let you die. We aint _that_ heartless, yo. Secondly, we _were_ there, and you have no idea how close we were to jumping in."

"Oh, really? You sure were taking your time. And if Sephiroth is so dangerous, how come _he _was the one who ended up saving my life instead of_ you, _anyway?"

The two Turks exchanged another look before Reno hesitantly answered, "Err…he just beat us to you."

Cloud sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "That is the stupidest fucking answer…"

"Hey, man. We just have orders from Tseng to keep you two separated. He says that it's too risky for you to be around him."

"And why hasn't he just told me this himself, huh?"

"He said he called…like, three times."

"What?" Cloud pulled his phone out and checked the logs for missed calls. There was a missed call from Tifa at 8:32, followed by three missed calls from Tseng at 8:37, 8:52, and 9:56. Cloud had either been fighting or unconscious during all these times. In addition, his phone had been set to vibrate, so he couldn't have noticed it through the earlier excitement, anyway. "…Oh."

"He sent us to tell you personally when you wouldn't answer." Rude said "Look, I don't think you understand how risky it is for him to be near anyone. There's a reason he's been on his own ever since his return, and we've seen to it that he stays alone. I honestly didn't believe that you'd have a problem with our request, but…"

Cloud raised his hands. "Okay, okay. I'll stay away from him. I just wish you'd explain why it's so important."

"Do we really _need_ to explain? You know who he is, and everything he's done."

"You're not actually trying to defend him, are you?" Reno added.

"What gave you that impression?" Cloud asked innocently.

Reno cocked an eyebrow at Cloud and raised his electric rod in front of his face again. "Don't think we haven't seen what's been going on between you two. Whatever it is you're doing, it has to end."

Cloud narrowed his eyes at Reno. He clearly wasn't totally convinced, so Reno tried a different approach. "How long do you think this will last, Cloud?"

Cloud paused in thought before he asked, "What do you mean by that?"

"How long before you won't be able to handle him anymore? He's a ticking time bomb, ya know. It won't be long until he turns on you."

"He already _has_ turned on me, Reno, and I was able to handle it."

"He's still Sephiroth," Rude cut in. "And that's no small issue."

"If it's that big of a deal, why haven't you just tried to kill him from the start, or even asked me to do it for you?"

"You think we haven't tried that? Confronting him was one of the first things we did. Let's just say that it did not end well."

Reno joined, "You haven't seen what we've seen, man. He's capable of more things than Sephiroth used to be. Now, I'm going to say it one last time: stay_ away _from him." He lowered the rod and turned to walk back through the church entrance. He then paused at the doorway and looked back at Cloud to say his last piece. "You know, he really is a whole different type of dangerous, Cloud. He's not the Sephiroth we once knew."

Cloud watched as the redhead exited the building and then looked back at Rude, who finally said, "Do what you always do, Cloud, and do what's best for the planet." He then turned and followed his partner outside.

Cloud watched the two of them leave, and then walked to the ruined flower bed and sat down cross-legged next to it. He began to scoop the dirt back into the small hole in the floor and stared at the shredded blossoms in deep thought for a while.

There was something they weren't telling him. That much was obvious.

"…_He's capable of more things than Sephiroth used to be …"_

"…_he really is a whole different type of dangerous, Cloud…"_

A different type of dangerous. What did Reno mean by that? What _had_ actually happened during their first encounter with Sephiroth?

"…_Let's just say that it did not end well…"_

It was clear that something bad happened. Cloud wasn't surprised by that. Yet, the way Rude spoke about it, he sounded as if he was both worried _and_ confused.

"…_He's not the Sephiroth we once knew…"_

Apart from that statement sounding awfully cliché, he couldn't help but feel as if it were more of a warning. Although, Cloud was already aware how different Sephiroth was now, and his alter ego was far less dangerous. So why were they so leery about it?

"…_Do what's best for the planet…"_

What _was_ best for the planet now? Past experience told him that Sephiroth was the opposite of 'best for the planet'. Should he really listen to Reno and Rude's warning, then? Was Cillian really worth risking the planet for?

The immediate answer was no, but really, what was the harm in being near him? Was it really such a bad idea?

_Listen to yourself! Of course it's a bad idea! Have you completely forgotten who he is?!_

_-But he's different…_

_-How do you know you can actually trust him? It could still be an elaborate trick to get on your good side. Think about it. He's even gotten the Turks to stay away from him!_

_-He really seems to care now…_

_-Have you lost your mind?! Do you not see how easily he convinced you that he's changed?! Remember everything he's done to you._

Cloud's head began to fill to the brim with horrible, agonizing memories. He remembered the horror and grief he felt at the burning of his hometown, the pain of being impaled through the chest by Masamune, the sorrow and agony of losing those who were closest to him. He remembered seeing the pain and shock spread across his mother's dead face in Nibelheim's burning, the blood and rain streaming down Zack's body as he laid in the mud and breathed his last breaths, the dead-eyed expression on Aerith's face as she slumped over from being impaled through her torso. He remembered feeling trapped and manipulated nearly the whole way through his journey to save the planet, and everywhere he turned, he could not escape the nightmare that consumed his mind. Sephiroth truly was a nightmare. He pulled on Cloud's strings and controlled him like a puppet master. _A puppet…to his master…_

_That's all you've ever been to him. Even now, he's still pulling your strings. It has to end, Cloud._

_**It all has to end!**_

Wordlessly, Cloud stood up and made his way over to Fenrir. He was so deep in thought, it felt like he was in a trance. All he could feel now, was anger. He was angry at how betrayed he felt. He was angry that he was so easily manipulated. Above all else, he was the most enraged at Sephiroth.

_**Never again…Never again…**_

_**He won't hurt you anymore, Cloud. Listen to me, and he will never control you again.**_

…_**You will listen to me now…You will follow me**_

_**You will not be Sephiroth's puppet anymore.**_

Cloud's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car's horn blaring. It took a few moments to realize that he was in the middle of traffic. The light in front of him had just turned green and the cars behind him were honking.

What was he doing? …Oh, yeah. He has on his way to 7thHeaven.

For a moment, just a moment, he thought that he had just heard a voice in his head a second ago. He felt like it was cutting through his own thoughts and forcefully speaking to him.

He immediately shrugged it off when another car horn snapped him back to reality.

_Stay away…Don't let him control you…You are not his puppet…Not anymore…_

* * *

Cillian landed gracefully inside of the Church. He hadn't expected to see Cloud there, and was relieved that there was no sign of him. This actually wasn't the first time he had come here alone. All he wanted was a place to think, and somehow, this place helped him relax. He usually waited until nighttime to go there, which it was now. The moon was high and the air was cool. There never were any ambient noises at night. Not even chirping crickets or croaking frogs. That was part of what helped Cillian find a few rare moments of serene peace in this church.

He looked at the structure around him and sighed. It was hard to believe that this had also been Cloud's place for peace as well, especially because they had both been making visits here, but missing each other entirely. There was a reason that he came here near the almost-end of his life, and that was because it was the only place in the world that he enjoyed. But he couldn't have ever imagined that the very man who once tried to kill him, would come to his rescue and save his life here. Granted, Cloud didn't know who he really was then, but the odds were humorously low. It was almost as if this church were actually blessed…or perhaps that Cloud wasn't the only angel that was keeping an eye on him.

Cillian then paced over to the flower bed and knelt next to it. It wasn't as messy as he remembered…perhaps Cloud cleaned it up a little. Cillian rarely touched the flower garden himself. For some reason, he got the feeling that those flowers were a little too special to mess with. He had actually tried his luck earlier by picking one and letting Cloud see it. The blond's reaction only confirmed his suspicion, although he underestimated exactly _how_ important they were.

He killed the last Cetra, and these flowers belonged to her. He already loathed himself greatly for the responsibility of her death. Now that he was responsible for ruining Cloud's precious memory of her, it only cut his wounds deeper. He was not at all proud of the things he had done in the past. It didn't help that his very existence was only causing more trouble.

What had caused Sephiroth to lose his mind so easily to begin with? He hardly knew the man, but he _did_ know that before the time of his said 'losing of mind', it wasn't like him to blindly follow a mysterious and intrusive voice in his head, and let himself be convinced that he was the son of a cosmic calamity. He was so easily swayed…

_He was already in pain. Emotionally, he was weak, and Jenova took advantage of him. She made promises of glory and godhood. She gave him a purpose in his time of weakness._

_In reality, he was nothing but a puppet._

_**A puppet…**_

_**A puppet that could have become a god. A puppet that could have controlled the world the way he pleased. A puppet who could have brought down all who wronged him…and watched them burn.**_

_**They all could have burned. They still can…**_

_**You can still be a god. You can still watch them burn!**_

Cillian shook his head to clear his thoughts. Whenever he let himself get carried away, he always began to think like that. It almost seemed like another voice. He could only assume that the part of him that still wanted to end the world was reaching out to him and trying to make him turn.

_I am not Sephiroth. I will not be so easily controlled. _

What was with all this talk of burning, anyway? Sephiroth must've really been a pyromaniac.

Cillian then looked back down at the flower bed and observed the damages. Most of the grass and flowers had been ripped from the dirt itself. The few flowers that remained were either snapped or shredded. He ran his hand through the remaining grass. It felt surprisingly silky and soft. That was, until his fingers grazed over a stiff blade. He paused, and then parted the grass to get a better look. A grin spread across his lips when he saw what it really was. It wasn't a blade of grass at all, it was a new flower sprout! It had barely just popped out of the ground. Fantastic! They really weren't gone after all. Cloud would be so relieved…

…_Stay away from Cloud…_

Right…stay away. Cloud would probably still be upset at him, anyway. It was too much for him to expect that Cloud would be happy to even see him again. After all, he really was just a burden in the end. No matter how much they had enjoyed being together, it still wasn't right. It never would be.

Cillian stood up and sighed again. He then began to pace toward the front of the church as he brooded over his inner despair and chaos (it was something he did frequently during his visits to the church). Suddenly, something caught his eye. It was a small, white object sitting just outside of the doorway. Cillian walked to it and picked it from the ground, and almost threw it away once he realized what it was.

It was a Banora Apple core. Cillian's hands trembled as he held it, but somehow, he resisted the urge to dispose of it. This was certainly what was left of Cloud's apple, and for some reason that made him hesitant to do anything with it. Soon he found himself simply staring at it. He began to wonder why it disturbed him so much to begin with. After all, it was only a piece of fruit. What was so bad about that?

As he continued to stare at the apple core, a glint caught the corner of his eye. He turned, and saw the reflection of the moon in the pool of holy water. It shined brightly on the water's surface, which only made it seem even more crystal clear than before…if that was even possible. Still holding the apple core, he walked over to the pool and sat down beside it. He leaned over the edge and observed his own reflection. For some reason, seeing himself only made him feel more depressed. It reminded him of his own uncanny existence and how out-of-place it made him feel. He just wished that there was some explanation about why he had returned…

_**You will know soon enough. It's only a matter of time.**_

Cillian stopped when he heard the voice again. When he brought his focus back on his reflection, he didn't see himself anymore. He saw someone else. Sephiroth was looking right back at him, smiling wickedly. The two locked gazes, both sets of green eyes fiercely staring at one another. Cillian couldn't look away. Despite how much he was now beginning to tremble, he realized that he couldn't even move his own body anymore. The quivering reflection of the moonlight began to turn a reddish orange color, giving the impression of fire. _Fire? _

Cillian couldn't believe his eyes. It was horrifying how familiar this reflection was becoming. Sephiroth then raised his hand up next to his head. In it, he was holding the Banora Apple core. Cillian mirrored his movements, uncontrollably. His eyes widened at the realization that Sephiroth was now controlling his body. He could only do what his alter wanted him to do now. Sephiroth was in control!

_**It's only a matter of time, puppet.**_

Sephiroth then dropped the apple core, causing Cillian to do the same. Once the apple splashed in the water, Cillian immediately regained his control and reeled back from the pool while he heaved his chest for air. He ran his palm over his forehead and felt it completely slick with sweat. He sat there and continued to tremble for a while, trying to steady his breathing and slow his rapidly beating heart.

So much for not being easily controlled.

Once he had finally calmed down, he slowly crawled back over to the pool. He peeked over the edge at his reflection. Thank the Gods, it was_ himself_ again. He then noticed the apple core floating in the water. For some odd reason, he wanted it now, so he reached out and grabbed it. He then stood back up and held it in his hands while he observed it.

The center of the core was dotted with seeds, and dripping wet from the water. He then looked back at the small flower bed, and then at the pool. His gaze shifted between these three things for a while, until a bright idea suddenly struck him. He smiled and began to walk over to the flower garden while he tossed the apple to himself.

He was no gardener, but this flower patch was in need of a little improvement.


	6. A Little Improvement

I am SO sorry that this one took so long. Ever since school started, my muse has been flickering like a candlelight in the wind. It's just been nothing but STRESS lately.

*sigh*

Well, it's finally done. Hope you enjoy, and please review.

By the way, here's a HUGE shoutout to JollyBigSis. I love your reviews and they really help motivate me to keep writing this story.

**Warnings:** I think the stress of the new school year has taken a toll on the tone of my writing. Just prepare yourselves for a MAJOR angst trip through the first half of the chapter. I think this chapter is also teetering on the edge of the T rating to M. There's also gonna be some blood...

Just to assure you, I'll rarely (if ever) write a chapter this dark in the future. I think this chapter is just the result of my need for an emotional outlet. I swear, things are getting easier in my life now, so everything should be back to normal soon.

**Please Take Note: ****Bold** and _**Bold + Italics **_represent two separate voices.

* * *

**Cillian**

_**6. A Little Improvement**_

* * *

It was happening again.

Cloud was being overwhelmed by horrible, painful memories. In front of him, he saw Nibelheim alight with fire. People screamed and cried for help, and all he could do was stand and watch. His old neighbors ran from their houses in stated of sheer panic, some with their hair and clothes up in flames. It felt like he watched the burning town for an eternity. He could feel his eyes burning from staring at the fire, yet he could not bring himself to look away. Only his newly forming tears kept them from drying inside their own sockets.

He allowed himself to blink once, and then the scene had suddenly changed in front of him. He was inside his old home, which was now reduced to ashes. The roof had been caved in and the faint pink glow of sunrise was seen shining against the dark blue sky. It must have been hours after the reactor incident, he guessed. Cloud then looked down and choked back a cry of horror as he saw his own mother. He had never seen her like this before. Nearly ten years ago, when he really saw her in Nibelheim, she was dead, but at least she still looked like herself. Now, in her horrible condition, she fit in with the rest of the frail, ashen structure. Her body was nothing but a blackened crisp, trapped under a beam and sprawled on the floor. Her charred face was the most horrific. The remaining blackened flesh was formed into a look of pure terror. Her mouth was open and her eye sockets wide. Oh, how deeply Cloud loathed himself for this. On that day, he had found her body first and _then_ charged into the reactor after Zack and Sephiroth. He had never let himself think of what might've happened to her after leaving it inside the burning house. Now it was too heart wrenching to handle that this was everything she was reduced to, and he was the one who left her there. She was his mother, Dammit! And he just left her body behind to be deformed and damaged by the elements! _"I'm so sorry." _He whispered. _"I was so stupid. I left you here to burn. I let this happen to you…"_

The atmosphere then turned from ashy and dark to cold and menacing. There was a faint glow of a mako chamber on one side of the room he was now in. In front of him was a metal stretcher with inch-thick cuffs for restraining a subject. Cloud blinked again, and three figures suddenly occupied the room. He saw himself in the mako chamber, thrashing around and pointlessly pounding his fists against the glass. Zack was in front of him, bound to the table with Hojo, a tall and creepy figure looming over him. Hojo pulled out a large syringe filled with some kind of black goo and proceeded to mercilessly plunge the comically large needle into Zack's arm. The whole room then lit up with deafening outcries as Zack let out a heartbreaking scream of pain, the young Cloud in the mako chamber made muffled yells of protest, and Hojo began to laugh in the most psychotic way Cloud could remember. More tears threatened to uncontrollably flow as Cloud watched Zack continue to cry out in agony while his face turned a sickly green. He glanced once more at his younger self, and began cursing himself for letting this happen. _"This is your fault. You were too weak to do anything. He didn't deserve this torture, and you could do nothing about it."_

The next thing he knew, the scene had changed again to the wastes. Zack was standing next to him, and they were both facing a whole squad of ShinRa infantrymen. _"Come and get it!"_ Zack shouted as he charged the troops. Cloud wanted to stop him. He wanted to run to his side and help defend him, or even just say something to protest. But he could not bring himself to do it. He could hardly move his own body. He felt as useless as the young catatonic Cloud that was laying nearby. All he could do was helplessly watch his friends' slow, bullet-riddled death.

It felt like hours before Zack finally collapsed. The blurry-eyed Cloud knelt down next to him and couldn't help letting out small _'hics' _from his restrained sobs. _"I didn't know, Zack." _Cloud said shakily. _"I- I was so useless and weak. I couldn't even d-do anything… I couldn't even save you." _Rain soon started to fall, and Cloud remained at old friend's side, who stared blankly at the sky and shallowly breathed his last breaths. He heard a faint shuffling noise to his side and saw the younger Cloud dragging himself over to Zack. Cloud narrowed his eyes at his younger persona and continued to spew damning remarks. _"Too weak, Cloud. He died for you, because you couldn't even take care of yourself! And you choose now of all times to begin functioning again?!"_

He looked back up and expected to see Midgar in front of him, but instead he saw a figure kneeling down and praying with a heavenly light cast above them. It was…Aerith! She was summoning Holy again. He turned around and saw himself and his friends entering the temple. His mind began to race as he watched his younger self fighting the urges to run the Buster Sword through her body. _"I stood there and watched…"_ Not this time! Once Sephiroth came into view from above, he hastily stood and lunged between Aerith and Masamune. He heard the soft sound of the sword piercing flesh, but no pain followed. Masamune didn't even touch him. He realized too late that he was like a ghost to the figures of his memories. He looked down in time to see Aerith slump over…dead. He ran around her and knelt in front of her newly deceased body. _"I…I'm so sorry. I couldn't do anything. N-not for anyone I loved. It's all my fault!" _

Those dead, wide eyes burned holes through his memory. Her eyes were his undoing. He crumbled to the ground and cried out in misery, tears flowing freely. He could no longer handle watching the ones he loved being tormented and killed. He couldn't handle the guilt of knowing that there was always something he could have done. _"I can't…I can't…I can't take this anymore!"_

All of the horrific events appeared around him and played out like movies in front of him, each scene depicting a whole different kind of torturous view. He couldn't close his eyes, nor cover his ears to drown out the sounds. It wasn't long before the scenes began to move and blur around him. They swirled and morphed into some kind of black, misty entity. The sounds all became one collective scream of agony.

_**The pain is inescapable. You can never know peace so long as you have these memories. **_

The entity reached out to Cloud with one of its long, black entrails.

_**You can take your revenge on those who wronged you. Even Sephiroth would know true pain. You can reign hellfire on those who will oppose. You have the power to do it. Listen to me, and you will have your revenge…you will have anything you want.**_

Cloud was in awe at the sight before him, but refused to listen to it. _"You're wrong."_ He said before turning on his heel to run away. He didn't want revenge, he wanted peace. He wanted something that could make him happy.

_**Revenge will bring happiness, Cloud.**_

Cloud turned around and saw the entity following close behind, but that didn't stop him from trying to escape it.

_**Peace is out of your grasp. The only thing that can relieve you of your inner discord is revenge. **_

"_That's not true!"_

_**Where will you run? Into the arms of your precious puppet master? How foolish. He will not bring you happiness. He will only tear you down and cast you away in the end!**_

"_SHUT UP!"_

_**You still don't believe me?**_

The creature then stopped following Cloud and disappeared. But he continued to run away as fast as he could. All he could think was to not listen to it. He wouldn't let himself give in to this darkness.

He felt like he had ran for hours before another dark figure appeared in the distance. But Cloud wasn't overcome with anger and fear, instead relief upon realizing that it was Cillian. The taller man turned and saw the blond, and donned a warming grin on his lips.

Cloud stopped in front of him and stared for a while, trying to distinguish if the heavenly sight before him was, in fact, real. After everything he had been through, Cillian's presence seemed too unlikely. After marching through the dark, stormy hell of his mind, Cillian felt like the sun burning through the storm. It was strange, and almost funny how he seemed to have that sort of effect on Cloud's consciousness…

"_C-Cillian?"_ Cloud muttered, still unsure of the reality of the man standing before him.

"_Cloud..."_

Cloud twitched for a moment, trying to keep from breaking down in front of Cillian again. But once he heard the other's voice, all mental restraints he had on himself melted away. It felt like his mind had actually broken, and nothing could keep Cloud holding himself back for the life of him. Not thinking clearly anymore, he didn't he didn't even hesitate when he threw his arms around the silverette and wept into his shoulder. Two strong arms and a black wing encircled Cloud and held him tightly. _"It's…too much." _He gasped between sobs._ "I-I don't…know what…to do. I c-can't…live like this."_

Cillian lifted a hand up to stroke Cloud's hair, which helped calm him considerably. Something about feeling his long fingers raking through his hair made him feel extremely soothed. For a moment, he actually _did_ feel happy.

That feeling was cut short when Cillian leaned next to Cloud's ear and whispered, _"You're right. You can't live anymore."_

Cloud jolted upon feeling something cold and sharp pressed against his chest, but could no nothing else in time to avoid the blade slicing in.

Normally, one stab wound would not impair him so easily, but this felt different. Not only had the blade reached his own heart, is felt as if a hundred more wounds were beginning to form around his body, rendering his own thoughts chaotic and blurred. He staggered backwards and instinctively pulled the knife from his torso, gasping at the searing pain. Within moments he felt weak, and the pain began to spread throughout his body. He fell to his knees and watched as his own blood began to collect around him.

"_C-Cillian…why?"_

He got no answer. Only a dark, complacent chuckle as the older man turned and walked away. Cloud reached out to him and even tried to stand, but when he moved forward, he stumbled against a glass shield that was now suddenly blocking his path. Claustrophobia kicking in, he frantically felt around with his hands, trying to find an exit. Once he turned around, the scene changed once more to Hojo's labs. A quick once-over told him that he was now trapped inside a mako chamber. He could feel a liquid substance pooling at his feet, and beginning to rise. Cloud looked down, expecting to see liquid mako, but instead saw his own blood.

Cloud paled at the horrific realization that he was soon going to drown in his own blood. He screamed and thrashed around as the crimson liquid rose higher, now surpassing his knees. For a brief moment, he wondered how he could possibly bleed this much without even passing out, but taking all of the recent events into consideration, nothing seemed to make logical sense anymore.

Once the blood reached shoulder height, the dark entity appeared outside of the chamber and spoke to him in its soothing, yet deeply disturbing tone.

_**Did I not warn you of this? **_

Cloud continued to thrash and cry out as the blood level reached his face. He was now swimming at the top of the chamber, trying to keep his head above the crimson blood for as long as possible. With his last few moments to keep his eyes out of the fluid, he shot the entity a glare that seemed pleading just as much as it was spiteful. He was no idiot. This_ thing _was trying to convince him to let it take over his mind. He was afraid, but would keep control of his own will down to his last dying breath, no matter what it took.

The last thing he saw before his vision was consumed by red, was the entity moving even closer to the chamber. It almost seemed as if it stepped through the glass and inside the giant container with him.

_**You have spirit, puppet. Even now, you refuse to listen to me…But that makes you a fool.**_

Cloud was beginning to tremble from air loss. He barely had any nerve to react as a hand suddenly touched his skin and lightly shook his shoulder.

_**You were too blind to see his motives. He tossed you away from the board of his game like a useless, expendable pawn, having served its purpose in a massive collusion beyond comprehension of your tiny pawn brain. Choose your side, puppet. If you don't, then you will be left alone to wallow in the discord of your own mind, surrounded by despair, tormented by your demons until the bitter, sorrowful, suffocating end. You must take action now…**_

His breath already felt depleted. It wasn't long before natural instinct took over and forced him to open his mouth, sucking blood into his lungs. The fluids caused him to cough and gag, which only forced more blood inside his body. His brain began to feel numb, and he barely felt the hand on his shoulder shake him even harder.

_**Take action soon, or you will drown.**_

Never…he would never give in! With his last remaining strength, he lashed out at the entity and forced them away. Drowning in his own despair was better than following the darkness within him. He was not Sephiroth. He would not let himself give in.

Accepting his fate, he let his body go limp as he felt his consciousness slipping. He was still afraid, even in his last moments, but his confidence remained as well. It was the last emotion to leave his mind before his body stilled completely.

All of a sudden, the shrill cry of a little girl stirred his senses. With a jolt, he suddenly felt himself being torn away from the fabrication of his own dreams, and crash-landed back into a startling reality.

* * *

Marlene and Denzel stood by Cloud's bed and watched him stir for a short while. They had previously wandered into his bedroom when Tifa asked them to bring him downstairs for breakfast. This was the first time they had seen Cloud like this, and were quite unsure of what to make of it.

Cloud was tossing and turning in bed. Gasps, groans, and unintelligible words escaped his lips. His entire body was covered with sweat, and even tears were wetting his cheeks. At some point, he rolled over and buried his face in his pillow. His breathing then started to become even more labored than it already was.

Neither of the two children quite understood that Cloud was starting to suffocate, but Denzel was too unnerved by the sight to let it be disregarded. He left Marlene's side to go downstairs and get Tifa. Once Denzel left the room, Marlene stepped closer to the bed and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Cloud…wake up."

He didn't respond. He barely even budged when she started trying to shake him. "Wake up. Tifa wants you downstairs."

Cloud began making small noises that almost sounded like whining, but was otherwise unresponsive. Starting to feel worried, Marlene then tried one more time. "Please get up. You're talking in your sleep. Cloud!"

For a beat, nothing happened. Marlene was about to go downstairs after Denzel, but a strong arm suddenly lashed out and grabbed the side of her head. She shrieked as she was suddenly thrown down next to the bed, her forehead cracking against the end table.

As the pain began to settle in, she brought her hands up to the newly formed gash and began to scream, rousing the squirming blond from his nightmarish slumber. Chest heaving, he sat up with a jolt, taking a moment for his senses to filter his surroundings. He quickly realized that Marlene was the one screaming.

"M-Marlene!" he exclaimed as he leapt from his bed and knelt beside the girl.

"No!" She whimpered as she turned her head away and continued to cry.

Cloud was bewildered that Marlene was actually mad at him. She _never_ got mad! "I-I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"Just…go AWAY!"

It was then that Tifa and Denzel came barreling into the room. Almost simultaneously, they both ran to Marlene's side and asked, "What happened?!"

Through her bawling and blubbering, Marlene could only manage to say, "Cl-Cloud! He…WAAAAH!"

Tifa immediately pulled out her PHS and began to dial on the keypad.

"What are you-?"

"I'm calling an ambulance."

"But, Tifa-"

"She needs to go to the hospital, Cloud! She's bleeding and might have a concussion. She's hurt badly!"

Cloud paled at Tifa's last exclamation. Marlene really _was _hurt badly…and it was _his_ fault. Silently, he stood and walked towards the door. "I'll be in the other bedroom, then."

Tifa gave him a questioning look, but didn't protest as she tried to urge Marlene to stand and be brought downstairs. She didn't know what happened, but Cloud had something to do with it.

* * *

"What happened?"

Cloud, who was sulking on the bed, looked up at Tifa with a heavy gaze. "I don't even know."

"Oh really? Because children don't just fall and hit their heads, Cloud. Not like that."

"I told you, I don't know why it happened." He lied.

Tifa crossed her arms. "From what Denzel told me, it sounds like you were having a night terror."

Cloud dropped his gaze, but otherwise remained silent.

"I promise I won't be mad, Cloud. I know you'd never hurt her on purpose."

"Hmm…did Marlene say anything, though?"

"No. She doesn't want to talk right now."

Cloud turned away from his roommate. "Maybe you should go be with her instead."

"She'll be fine with Denzel until the ambulance arrives. I want to talk to you right now."

"Why? I told you I don't know anything."

Tifa's tone of voice became sterner. "Don't lie to me Cloud. I know there's something you're not telling me."

"I told you I don't know what happened. Just leave me be, Tifa."

"No. Not this time. I'm getting tired of you wanting to be alone all the time! We hardly see you around here anymore!"

"Tifa, please! Has it ever occurred to you that there's a reason I do this?!"

"Well, has it ever occurred to you that you can just talk to one of us about it?! We're your friends, Cloud! You're not alone! So why do you want to _be_ alone?!"

"I-" he started strongly, but his hands quickly rushed up to his head and buried his face in them. "I can't…I…just can't…"

Tifa's expression softened. "You can't what?"

Cloud didn't say anything. His sight dropped back to the floor.

Tifa placed her hand on his shoulder and continued, "Please, Cloud. Just talk to me. Please."

The blonde's eyes met hers for a short while, before he stood and brushed her hand away. "I told you to forget it." He said quietly before moving to head downstairs.

Tifa followed him and watched as he walked out the back door and mounted Fenrir. "What are you doing? Running away again, are we?"

Cloud silently pulled his goggles down over his face and sped off toward the main road. Tifa watched him until he was out of sight before moving back inside and slamming the door shut behind her. For the love of all things sacred! This man was just so completely infuriating!

Her thoughts were cut short as an ambulance blared just outside the front door.

Meanwhile, Cloud quickly found himself waiting at a red light. The first of many before he could finally get out of downtown.

_You don't understand. I just can't be around you, guys._

The light turned green, and the depressed blond continued to ride on.

_I can't be around the ones I care for, because they'll be hurt. They always are._

* * *

The _put-put_ of Fenrir's slowing motor echoed around the sector 5 ruins. The bike came to a stop in front of the church, which was now cast in the orange glow of sunset. It had been two weeks since his last visit here. He figured it was long enough to stay away from this place. Maybe he could try and revive the flowers tonight.

_Aerith, _he began to think to himself, _I'm so sorry that happened. I promise I'll take better care of them._

**Cloud…**

He stopped and paled at the voice. At first, assuming that it was the same one from before.

**Cloud…Please…**

No…this felt different. Its presence felt warm and comforting just as much as the other's was dark and wicked. But there was also an element of pain to its tone. It sounded familiar…

**Please…Save…Me…**

"A-Aerith?"

A crash suddenly sounded from behind him, causing him to jump from being startled. He took a few steps toward the pile of junk he thought it came from and glared for a while. After assuring himself that a heap of rubble wasn't in any way harmful, he glanced around the clearing. Something just didn't seem right. His SOLDIER senses were tingling. He felt as if…he was being watched.

He heard a few more scuttling noises after that, but eventually decided that it was only a few nocturnal animals beginning their nighttime scavenging. With that, he strode off toward the church. Once he entered, he was welcomed with a shocking sight.

Some of the floorboards around the garden had been torn away, and in their place was a tree sapling. The flowers themselves were actually flourishing around this timberish intruder.

"Wh-wh-wha…?"

"Good to see you, Cloud."

Cloud's head snapped up in time to see Cillian's angelic figure drop through the church roof and gracefully land next to the garden.

Nervous energy caused Cloud's hand to make its way to the back of his neck and rub it. "Oh…it's you. C-could you not greet me that way? It honestly freaks me out."

"As you wish."

"Umm…so…" he began making hand gestures toward the garden. "What…the hell, Cillian?" he said this calmly, but the exasperation in his tone was quite distinct. "You did this while I was gone?!"

Cillian glanced down at the garden and grinned slightly. "I thought it could use some improvement."

Cloud didn't know whether to be flattered or pissed. "But…I never okayed this! What _is_ that supposed to be, anyway?"

"A Banora White tree."

"You-" Cloud paused, letting this new knowledge sink in. "You…actually planted a Banora tree? But I thought you hated-"

"It's an absurd fear. Honestly, who on Gaia should be scared of apples?"

"Oh, I guess that's true."

Cillian paused for a while and took a deep breath before continuing, "I thought that perhaps…instead of avoiding it…I could use it. Instead of leaving its remains to rot, I could harness the seeds and…make something greater. Maybe then, when more apples grow, I won't be afraid anymore."

Cloud looked at the man standing next to him, who was still looking down at the garden. He wasn't exactly new to hearing monologues from him, but they usually pertained to his messiah complex where he would babble on about godhood and world destruction. This was so much different in that, it was deep and meaningful and even a bit passionate. A side Cloud had never seen before. In all honesty, he rather liked it.

"It's a step in the right direction. Wouldn't you agree?"

Cloud smiled. "Yes. I think it's good that you're putting all this effort in for a little improvement."

"Well, it's the least I could do for what happened the other day."

"I wasn't talking about the garden."

"I-" Cillian stopped at the blonde's words. He looked up to meet his gaze, and a silent communication took place between them. Cloud's head tilted as a slightly playful, _'you know that I'm talking about' _smirk spread across his lips. Cillian grinned sheepishly, almost as if to say '_thank you'_.

A rustling noise was heard somewhere outside the church. Both men glanced in that direction, but Cloud quickly looked back at the garden and continued, "So…how did you do it, anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"Fully grown flowers aside, how on Gaia were you able to grow that thing so quickly? I mean, _look at it_! There's no _way_ that it's only two weeks old. It's already at least six inches tall!"

Cillian smirked, which was actually not surprising. "It's amazing what holy water can do."

"You used the _water_?!"

"Yes."

Cloud's face flushed red with frustration. Using his calm and collected attitude whenever he supposedly had done something wrong did nothing but piss Cloud off. "Y-you…it's…you can't-!"

"I don't see what's wrong with using it. It is quite effective in quickening the growth rate in plant life."

Finding no good reason to be against this, Cloud sighed heavily in defeat. Just then, another rustling sound was heard outside.

"What_ is_ that?" Cillian asked.

"It's probably nothing." Cloud said as he shrugged. "I've heard animals out there before."

"No…I don't think so. Something doesn't feel right."

Cloud glanced around the church, which was very dimly lit by the darkening sky. "I don't think anyone would be out there. Who would come here, anyway?"

"Someone who is looking for_ you_." A chilling voice echoed around the structure.

The guard of both men instantly went up as they quickly took their battle stances. Cloud reached back for his fusion sword, but paled as he quickly realized that he had left it back at Seventh Heaven. "Who are you?" he asked fiercely, trying to make up for the absence of a weapon.

The sound of approaching footsteps was heard near the front entrance. A cloaked and hooded figure walked through the doorway. His features were shrouded from under the black cloak, but there was one distinguishable feature about him. Two jade eyes that glowed from under the hood, and they both had cat-like slits for pupils.

Mentally, Cloud began swearing every profound word under the sun upon the realization of who this was.

"You're…a _remnant!"_

Two pale hands lifted from beneath the cloak and began to clap sarcastically. Their finger nails were unusually long and sharp, almost like that of a feline. "Bravo, brother. I'm impressed by your skills of observation."

Another cloaked remnant suddenly dropped down in front of Cillian. The angel moved to attack, but something stopped him abruptly. Cloud turned and saw him suspended at mid-swing, frozen. The other figure held a small, red, box-like device in his hand, and right in front of Cillian's face. That hand appeared to have reptilian scales running along the backside of it.

"Stay there, like a good puppet." The other remnant spoke, as if talking to a dog. This one was wearing a navy blue cloak, and had glowing eyes as well, except these ones were sky blue. Cloud allowed for confusion to sink in for a moment. He had never seen a blue-eyed remnant before. Weren't they all supposed to have adopted _Sephiroth's_ physical traits, green eyes included?

"Bet you didn't observe that one!"

_I can't believe this. I'm going to have to deal with a bunch of crazy children again._

"What is that thing? What did you do to him?"

"You could say…I just put him on pause."

Both figures moved closer to Cloud, whose panic was beginning to rise.

"Relax, brother." The one in black spoke. "We aren't here to hurt you…yet."

"Don't call me that. We are _not_ related!"

"Oh, aren't we? And yet, we share the same mother."

"Jenova?! She's not my mother, and she isn't yours either! She's just-" Cloud stopped when the sharp edge of a dagger was suddenly at his throat, which was held by the remnant in blue.

"I suggest you watch your tongue, or else you may find it detached from your mouth."

Cloud clenched his fists. "What do you want?"

The remnant in black pointed to Cillian. "Him."

"Why?"

The dagger pressed harder. "That's none of your concern."

Despite the blade pressing against his skin, Cloud had the nerve to act a little tenacious. "You can't have him."

"Ha! You're one to talk. After all, haven't you wanted to be rid of him from the start?"

_Does everyone know about our relationship, now?!_

"And how would you stop us, anyway?" the remnant in black added. "You don't even have a weapon."

Cloud narrowed his eyes and repeated himself. "You _can't_ have him."

The remnant in blue lowered the blade and walked over to Cillian, who was still frozen. "Do you not see how easily controlled he is? Watch…" The remnant snapped their fingers, and Cillian suddenly dropped to his knees. He immediately hugged himself as a look of wide-eyed horror spread across his face. His body began to tremble, rock back and forth, and small whimpers escaped his lips.

"Cillian?" Cloud said as he knelt in front of the silverette. The man's eyes were distant, and he didn't respond at all to Cloud when he tried to shake him. "What are you _doing_ to him?!"

Both remnants let out small giggles. Cloud decided that these were the only two people on Gaia that could actually _giggle_ in such a dark and wicked way.

The remnant in blue finally spoke. "He reminds me of a popcorn kernel when he is this way. So much pressure being applied to his conscience, it's only a matter of time before he _pops! _Do you know the best part is?" the remnant bent down in front of Cloud and waved the strange device in front of his face. "The best part is that I get to decide when it happens."

Cloud's hand jutted out to grab the box, but the remnant was too quick in moving it away. "Uh-uh-uh. This is for remnant use only."

Cloud stood up and faced the two of them. "Listen you two. I don't give a damn whether he _'pops_' or not, I won't let you take him! I can handle it!"

The remnant in black crossed his arms before saying, "Do you really believe that you have any hope? I know what you're thinking. You want a chance to help him, and maybe even manage to make his brain normal again. You want to try and_ fix_ him, don't you?"

With every bone in his body, Cloud wanted to deny it. Too bad it was actually true.

The two remnants seemed to exchange glances before coming to a silent agreement with each other. "Alright, then." The remnant in blue said. "We'll leave you two here…for now."

"Wha-that's it? You're just going to leave?"

"He isn't ready." The one in blue said to the other. "He must be _willing_ to give us what we want."

"Indeed." The one in black then turned to Cloud. "Well, we must be on our way, then."

The remnant in black then suddenly donned a pair of eagle wings that had just abruptly stretched away from his backside. The remnant in blue did the same, only his wings were dragon-like and covered in dark green scales. The eagle-winged remnant flapped his wings once, and bolted up and through the roof of the church.

Cloud watched this display in disbelieving awe. Since when did remnants have wings?

The remnant in blue turned to Cloud before saying, "I'll give you a word of advice, brother." Cloud narrowed his eyes at the use of that word, but the blue-clad remnant was unaffected. He then raised his hand and pressed his fingers together. "In order for something to be fixed, it must first be shattered."

The remnant snapped his fingers, and Cillian then suddenly went completely limp. He fell to the floor without even another sound, almost as if he simply passed out with his eyes still wide open.

"Good luck, Cloud, in piecing him back together." One mighty flap of his wings, and he was gone.

Cloud knelt back down beside Cillian and began to shake him. "Hey, wake up Cillian."

The angel stirred for a while, before he finally brought his focus to Cloud. "Who is Cillian?"


End file.
